In pro-wrestling, as in life, no one is perfect. Not even Mr Perfect. As certain as death and taxes, every wrestler will have a chink in their performance armour in some way and it is the job of management to cover these flaws by avoiding them, using them or solving them. In recent years, the WWE has been blessed with several performers who, on the surface at least, lacked an apparent inadequacy but this more likely suggests that the promotion and production of these superstars was handled effectively and their weaknesses were never, or rarely, exposed. How? I’m glad I asked (I had to, I would have been here all day waiting for you guys to enquire).
The most obvious weakness covered by deliberate writing or booking decisions is a lack of wrestling ability. More than just making sure guys like Snitsky or Kane aren’t expected to leap around the ring like London and Kendrick, it is intended to play to the strengths of the character rather than the person playing the part. Take Batista, for example. If they were protecting the man, as opposed to the gimmick, then little more is needed than to ensure that the match doesn’t extend to more than fifteen minutes (as his engine would sputter) and his actions aren’t reliant on speed and timing (seeing as his co-ordination never really recovered from his long injury lay-off in 2006). But the ‘Animal’ gimmick, which is the part of him that draws, requires that creative highlights his power moves and demonstrates that he doesn’t take a backward step, regardless of his opponent. To prove this, you just have to look at Batista’s Wrestlemania 23 championship match against The Undertaker. In Batista’s most watched match of 2007, Vince was unconcerned about protecting the man (the match went sixteen minutes and involved frequent top rope manoeuvres from both men) but he ensured that his gimmick was maintained and bolstered (utilising shoulder charges and body blocks on his larger, usually feared opponent). The same applies to John Cena. Many people have stated that Cena’s lengthy title run was at the sacrifice of technical wrestling, fuelled predominantly by his merchandise sales and affinity with certain sections of the audience. In truth, the protracted nature of Cena’s reign was more likely founded in the fact that, in spite of his technical weaknesses, he was able to rise to all of the challenges that Vince threw at him. The performances he entered at Royal Rumble (v Umaga, last man standing) and 23/4 Raw (v HBK, 57 minutes) weren’t a stretch for him as a person, because presumably he’s fairly tough and (was) very healthy, but his character needed to be seen to be taken to new levels of brutality and technical ability respectively. It is this expectation from Vince that his workers will overcome their own limitations, thus allowing the writing team the freedom to imbue the characterisations with any number of traits, that makes the WWE the only game in town as it stands.
To offer a brief antithesis to that point (just in case I lost anyone), TNA is failing in this regard by pandering to its performer’s weaknesses. Kurt Angle has positioned himself as the Olympic wrestling machine (until he became a douche to his wife’s vaginal grumbling, which really doesn’t seem to solve anything), the X division has reset to ‘nap-time’ mode now the adults are finished letting them play, Sting is stuck in his ‘Crow’ outfit and Abyss is still the same wailing loony he was in 2003. With most of the roster seemingly satisfied with mid-card or less status, the booking committee isn’t challenging its wrestlers on a weekly or monthly basis. And in this era of guaranteed contracts, combined with TNA’s light schedule, it is vital that performers are given enough motivation to do more than is merely necessary to finish the match and take home the money.
At the opposite end of the wrestling spectrum (judging by the popular sign “shut up and wrestle”) is an inability to deliver a convincing vocal performance. To solve the problem of poor promo delivery, management can either negate the worker (as with Shelton Benjamin) or negate the promo (as with Jeff Hardy) but there is good reason for the distinction. Hardy, especially since his WWE return in 2006, has a tacit connection with a majority of WWE fans based on his physical presence alone. This mystique is doubtless driven by Hardy's empathy magnet status coupled with the belief by adolescent girls that anyone with interesting hair and their own car must be the archetype of what makes a modern man. Vince would be mad to expose Jeff’s vocal deficiencies just to drag a second segment out of him per week and has wisely chosen to retain most of the gaps in his personality, filled with depth and poetry by the inexperienced females that cheer for him (though most real women know that stoners are little more than lazy toddlers that need feeding and tidying up after). Benjamin’s situation is more of a concern, principally for those people who want to see ‘sports’ mixed in with their ‘entertainment’. Whilst I disagree with that sign at Raw this week that stated “Shelton is main event quality, not Cena” (because the main event should be that which draws the most money, not automatically that which contains the best wrestling), I equally can’t condone how underused Benjamin has been of late. Shelton’s athletic talents are unquestionable and an unconfident speaking voice or a lack of charisma shouldn’t condemn him to a life on Heat or perpetually fluffing the mid-card. If Vince really does have an expectation that his workers will overcome their limitations (pgh2) then he should be extending this courtesy to performers who lack communication skills, not just those who lack the necessary technical excellence. The problem with this sacrifice is that the product would appear less polished, which would be quite a serious issue for a company that is 75% veneer and 25% substance. Particularly when you consider that, despite the three branded rosters being replete with big personalities, the current crop of developmental trainees in OVW and FCW are proficient wrestlers but are chiefly radiating mid-card dispositions. If the WWE doesn’t find its next Austin or Cena materialising from the horizon anytime soon then it will have to change the direction of aspects of its output to allow new talent to rise through the ranks exhibiting nothing more than technical expertise.
To take this to its logical conclusion, I should address what is required when the performer has no discernible benefits to the process, outside of mere aesthetics. It’s at this stage that I would love to not feel compelled to use The Great Khali as the epitome of this point but there really is no one more suitable for this issue. Khali can’t wrestle (inasmuch as he can barely walk, let alone run or jump), he can’t talk (you know what I mean) and he’s not sufficiently charismatic to capture the attention of those fans that find it easier to just ignore him. In this instance, it would be pointless to expect Khali to exceed his own obvious limitations (and possibly very dangerous) so Vince, quite rightly, panders to Khali’s weaknesses by using the strengths of others. Namely the charisma of performers like Batista and Rey Mysterio, whose appeal is such that fans will support them through several losses until the war is won. As we’ve seen recently, the way Khali benefits the product is simply by establishing a heel threat, regardless of how effective he is as an individual wrestler. As long as you have an athletic, popular babyface in opposition then the outcome should be workable, if not on a par with the great feuds of our time. The mere fact that this circumstance isn’t ideal should preclude it from becoming the norm but a brief sojourn into the land of the giants is acceptable, if done right. In many ways, the situation with Khali is similar to the 2007 Diva Search competition. I think it’s fairly safe to assume that no WWE viewers even slightly miss the shrill, money-grabbing skanks taking up eighteen minutes of valuable Raw time each week. But I still stand by the expression ‘if you’re going to do something wrong, you might as well do it right’ and the winner (or more accurately, the subsequent employees) will miss out on the reality style exposure that previously has rendered the contestants’ initial appearances recognisable, if not meaningful. Although hardly memorable wrestling television as it was, Christy Hemme’s debut verbal sparring with Carmella in 2004 would have been even less interesting if fans could only note “hey, the dark-haired slut just called the redhead a ‘bitch’”.
As I mentioned earlier, there are a few instances of past WWE stars being ‘all-rounders’, seemingly proficient in all categories enabling the writers to put them into any situation and they will prosper. Rock, HHH, Austin and HBK appear the most likely nominees (arguably, of course) but I want to make special mention, seeing as it’s also pertinent, of Chris Jericho. Over the years I have felt the need to offer a more considered appraisal of Y2J’s talents, as opposed to the lyrical waxing he usually receives, despite Jericho’s Raw debut being my (formerly) favourite WWE moment in history (only eclipsed recently by Vince’s explosive ‘demise’). But even with my reservations it is undeniable that he is an accomplished worker, a confident talker and the excitement generated by his (at this time, possible) WWE return suggests he is held in high regard by the bulk of fans. So why is it that Jericho has, to date, failed to take the final step into the long-term WWE main event and has appeared content to carry around the gold-plated wooden spoon that is the moniker of being the 'first WWF undisputed champion’? Admittedly, Jericho’s career charge sheet is littered with examples of accepting mid-card belts for long periods (CMLL Middleweight champion for a year) or on numerous occasions (WWE Intercontinental champion seven times) but it is more likely the product of an aspirational realisation. Jericho always knew that he had neither the size (5ft 10in) nor the stroke to compete with the likes of Rock or HHH and the momentum required to push him over the top would have to come from the fans, not a decision by the WWE writing staff. Which probably explains why he took two years away from the wrestling ring, to let the fans’ hearts grow fonder in his absence. Also, staying (comparatively) injury free during his six year WWE tenure meant that he never benefited from the temporary hiatus and subsequent renaissance experienced by HHH and Undertaker, to name but a few. Y2J had (and still has) all the tools necessary to be a company carrying star in WWE but suffered from a mixture of unfortunate timing and an eroded enthusiasm. If the next few months plays out as it looks like it will, Jericho’s timing appears to have become a whole lot luckier.
I opened this piece with the expression “no one is perfect” and that’s true. But then WWE superstars don’t have to be perfect ... they just have to be. Because if they weren’t, we’d have sod all to talk about. Whether McMahon chooses to avoid, use or solve any of the flaws he discovers in his future employees isn't really the issue because, as we all know, the WWE that we see on our screens is really just the contents of Vince’s mind made flesh. So those three options apply as much to the owner as they do to any of his wrestlers. And after years of solving and using these problems only to find that his company is increasingly stymied by his own decisions, then maybe he should try avoiding it. Completely.
Lee
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