Before I get started justifying my title to all the hate-mailers, let me say a few things first. I want to congratulate Dougie Nunnie and Mike Steele on the one-year Anniversery of The Wrestling Voice. If it were not for the tremendous efforts of you guys, the IWC would not be the same. Also, thanks to The Stinger (author of A View From The Rafters) for including the first paragraph of my last column in his most recent column titled "Voodoo", which I found to be an interesting read.
Now, the reason Stinger quoted Full Mark's intro on "The Best WrestleMania EVER" was because of the brutal gut-kick style I felt compelled to use when writing about the uber-dorks of the IWC. After some contemplating, I decided that there were some issues I wanted to write about regarding some of the pro wrestling's modern "fans" (if they can be called that).
It's no secret I love professional wrestling. This column is titled "Full Mark" because I wanted people to know that a mark was writing this column. I know all about blade jobs, curtain-jerking, false finishes, spots, kayfabe and all those other terms that are thrown around out there, but that does not mean that I let that ruin the experience for me. I still get caught up in matches and hope for brilliant flashes and innovative offensive counters despite seeing a guy get handed a blade or call a spot. When Batista stuttered over the word "reflection" tonight on Raw, I did not just heap unnecessary heat on the guy. I am not a smark.
I know I already said my piece on smarks, but I was merely rattling the cage delicately. I received an email regarding my last column from Scott Ratliff (author of The Blade Job) that hit the nail on the head. Scott wrote that:
"critics love to say the wwe cant come up with anything entertaining anymore. how can people that take the time to bash the product on the net and use hours of their time, weather their time is useless anyway or not, to talk negetively about something they obviously watch anytime its programming is on tv. i have just come to realize that these people wanna see a certain list of things happen, and when that doesn't happen, the show has to suck."
I couldn't agree more with you Scott. These "fans" are all the same people with their piss-poor arguments of who deserves a push and who does not. Bottom line for you smarks, if you were in charge of booking the WWE, the company would lie in ruins before you could even utter "Hiroshima", because there is much more to booking than just pleasing a 16 year-old nobody with a hard-on for Sean O'Haire. There is so much that none of you smarks know about the actual business, and never will.
Some of the more ignorant perspectives I recognize as "common" among the dilluted opinions of a smark I will list here:
RVD deserves a world title. Chris Benoit should be World Heavyweight Champion forever. Triple H sucks. John Cena sucks. Randy Orton sucks as a face. JBL was a lousy champion. Sean O'Haire should have gotten a bigger push. Christian should be main-eventing. Rey Mysterio should be WWE champion. Need I say more? Leave the booking to the people who are paid to do it.
The other fans I wanted to call out on are in my opinion, the worst sports fans in the world. That's right, Philadelphia's foul-mouthed crowd and Detroit's blood-thirsty mob do not even hold a damned candle to the worst sports fans in the world, The Morons of Montreal. Anytime I hear a Raw or Smackdown or payperview is coming to the Bell Center, I say aloud "F**k the Bell Center!" We all know what to expect by now from Canada's largest indoor gathering of Morons.
Flash back to No Way Out 2003 just before WrestleMania XIX. The first ppv to be in Montreal, Quebec Canada since that SINGLE ISOLATED INCIDENT 8 YEARS AGO. The crowd was hot that night, but not in a positive way. Chris Jericho was cheered louder than babyface Jeff Hardy in the opening match, but that was not anything earth-shattering. However, when Shawn Michaels came out to make the post-match save for Jeff Hardy, he was greeted with the most hollow of pro wrestling chants.
"You screwed Bret! You screwed Bret!"
The chants of the unenchanted. The single most obnoxious and disrespectful chant in the business. Nevermind all the blood, sweat, and tears that Shawn Michaels has spilled to entertain you. Nevermind the sacrifices that human being endured for your entertainment. Nevermind the punishment Shawn Michael's body has endured over the years of tremendous physical abuse suffered for your entertainment. The man is a living legend and an icon to our beloved sport and a small group of disrespectful Morons in Montreal think they owe it to him just because of where they are. The only other explanation I could come up with to answer the question "Why do Montreal fans insist on continuing this horrible chant?" is that some of them might think they still owe it to Bret Hart. Screw that, plain and simple. It happened 8 years ago, apologies have been accepted, fences mended, and everyone has moved on. Except you.
So tell me, pathetic losers, which is it? Are you that disrespectful towards one of professional wrestlings greatest icons OF ALL TIME? Or are you that stupid to think that you owe it to Bret after all these years? Those are the only two reasons I could come up with. Don't get me wrong, you go ahead and pay for your tickets, you can chant whatever the hell you want. But hear this, Bastards Of The Bell Center, and hear this well: the chants are dying.
Literally, the chants are dying out. During the Steiner-Triple H match (refereed by Earl Hebner Sr.) the chants were loud and full of ignorance and stupidity. Now, when I pop in my SummerSlam 2004 dvd and watch Randy Orton versus Chris Benoit, I hear those souls not worthy of pity screaming out the same stupid chant.
You screwed Bret! You screwed Bret!
Oh, sure it echoes around the arena loudly for a few seconds before tapering off into nothing. Then, I hear a small group of some of the more vocal Morons attempting to restart it later in the match. It does not catch on a second time, nor does it carry on a third time nor a fourth time nor a fifth time. It NEVER restarts, and the same one-quarter-wits (you are not even half-wits, merely one-quarter-wits)are the same ones every damned time trying to restart the most BS chant of them all. The chant screams of stupidity and ignorance. Is it any surprise why Benoit is announced as residing in Atlanta or Chris Jericho from New York? Trish Stratus is at least still announced from Toronto, but Canada you can go ahead and keep that particular "talent". My only wish is that Batista had enough Montreal flags to cram up all of your pathetic asses.
Did all of Montreal miss Backlash from 2004? Chris Benoit made Shawn Michaels tap out in the sharpshooter in Calgary, the home of Bret Hart, with Earl Hebner as the referee in the World Heavyweight Championship match. That is about as much of a make-up as you are ever going to get, so consider the matter closed.
So what are you waiting for Montreal? If you are waiting for Bret Hart himself to write on his web site that he himself no longer sees reason for your cries of shame, then I am begging you to write it Bret. Because otherwise, what is it going to take to get rid of that chant? And more importantly, what is the purpose of chanting it at all? At least answer me that, Montreal, because I would love to know. Oh yeah, and F**k the Bell Center.
email me some love or hate @
Hateraidethemighty@godisdead.com
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