From The Other Side: A Letter To World Wrestling Entertainment
Posted by TWV Guest Columnists
on 01/17/2007
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Guest Column By Raul Smith
The reaction that I got in regards to the New Year's Day joke known as Cena versus K-Fed was astounding. Normally when I bring up Cena, people will e-mail me back and say that Cena's not that great, that he doesn't work that hard, and that his workrate is subpar at best. But this time for some reason, people that normally are not on Cena's bandwagon were even pissed that he was done like that by creative and K-Fed. As I said to a pen pal of mine recently, "I hope Vince is happy that he threw literally decades of wrestling tradition away for a week's worth of cheap mainstream media pub." Because, let's face it, that's exactly what he did.
So in the wake of this and many other recent incidents in which McMahon should be held accountable but will easily pass the blame to somebody else, whether it be somebody on the creative team, John Cena, or whoever looks at him the wrong way first, I have taken it upon myself to write a letter in today's column. Now, keep in mind, this is not an actual letter or e-mail that I've sent to WWE because I don't want something coming back in my e-mail box saying, "Yeah, yeah, we heard you people the first 50,000 times, and we'll continue to say that we're working on these issues," even though they clearly are not. I get enough WWE e-mail as it is, mostly advertising PPVs, shows, events...hell, I got one just earlier today informing me that tickets are still available for the house show next month in Salt Lake City, great tickets from what I've been told.
I'll be honest: as hyped and stoked as I was to hear that we finally got a house show again, I'm not so sure I'm going. My heart just is not into it right now. Hell, I've been leaning on the fence on even watching RAW lately. Besides, the last thing I want to do on a Saturday night is go to a meaningless house show where the only thing there is to do is buy merchandise and maybe run into former Utah Jazz center Mark Eaton. Why travel through hectic I-15 traffic and then hectic I-215 traffic all the way to the E Center just to buy merchandise when I can just buy merchandise in the comfort of my own home on WWEShop.com? I've got better things to do on a Saturday night than to travel for over an hour to go to a meaningless house show that nobody will even remember (except for that one where Edge got hurt). Oh and pay more to go to that than to go to a Jazz game.
Here is my letter to Vince McMahon that I may never send, although I'm sure it'll get back to Vince courtesy of JBL.
To all members of the McMahon family and World Wrestling Entertainment creative team:
I am proud to say that I have been a huge fan of your product for over fifteen years. I have followed the careers of many superstars in WWE, including the Undertaker, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Triple H, John Cena, Mankind, and many others, too many to list here. Hell, I remember that one of my first memories of your product was the epic Hulk Hogan-Undertaker confrontation right before Survivor Series when Taker won the WWE Championship from Hogan! I still remember long-forgotten personas like Papa Shango, Crush, Duke "The Dumpster" Droese, and the Repo Man.
However, recent events have been a major scar on my experience with professional wrestling as a whole and your product in general. Allow me to single a few of these instances out.
First, the way that I, as well as many other fans, feel you've treated the legacy and memory of Eddie Guerrero. As a Hispanic male myself and a huge fan of the Lucha Libre style, I cannot tell you how disappointed I am that you constantly disregard all pleas to stop disrespecting Eddie Guerrero. Using his name in the storylines to help Rey Mysterio get fan sympathy as he clawed his way to become World Heavyweight Champion was one thing. But to do what you've been doing with Randy Orton (the low-rider incident), Chavo Guerrero, and now Eddie's widow Vicki Guerrero is a huge slap in the face to everybody that's ever supported the Guerrero family over the years. And not just the fans, either; many wrestlers are sick of it, but will not say it to you out of fear of receiving disciplinary action or worse. Because I care a great deal about those that are still in your employ, I will not mention names although the rumors are out there.
Another instance is the audacity Vince McMahon has shown to make something public that should've never been made public and that was the idea to suggest, in storyline only, that his granddaughter and Stephanie McMahon's daughter, Aurora Rose, is really the product of Vince's and Stephanie's, thus suggesting to Stephanie that they do an incest storyline on worldwide television. I cannot tell you how much respect I lost for Vince McMahon when I first heard that nor can I tell you how much respect for Stephanie I've gained when she flat-out told him "no."
Among other examples are the ECW experiment (in particular your idea of replacing Tazz on commentary with that not-laughable joke Brad Armstrong), what Kurt Angle has alleged about Vince McMahon, the idea of replacing two great female wrestlers with twenty bimbos (pardon the language) in bikinis, and the way your company dismissed Paul Heyman. Regardless of what you may or may not want to believe, we as fans are smarter than you give us credit for. Here's a hint: when we as fans start chanting "Where's my refund?" at the end of a house show, televised event, or a PPV, that's not the latest fad nor is it at all good. You know, like the latest fad where one group of fans will, for example, start chanting "Let's Go Cena!" and then another group of fans will chant immediately after that "Let's Go Michaels!," that's not what that is. Instead, when we start chanting "Where's my refund?" or "TNA," we're trying to tell you something. It's up to all of you whether or not you listen, and by the looks of things, you have yet to decide to listen.
But, above all of that, to have Kevin Federline pin John Cena on New Year's Day, regardless of whatever excuse you can come up with to spin that, it's an insult to the fans and an insult to all people who are sick and tired of hearing about how great K-Fed is. I've listened to his latest album "Playing with Fire" and literally wanted to take a Q-Tip and shove it into my ear so far it pops my eardrums! And I'm a guy that listens to that kind of music everyday! I listen to 2Pac, Eminem, Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Kanye West, among others; I'll even mix in John Cena's album once in a while. No amount of mainstream media pub is worth throwing away decades of wrestling tradition over.
And then, while I'm on cheap mainstream media pub, to have two wrestlers impersonate Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump (and not very well, either) in a wrestling match made me want to gauge my eyes out, and from the sound of that St. Louis crowd on January 8, I'm not the only one. You cannot keep treating the WWE fans like they are idiots because I think I can speak on their behalf and say we are not.
I'm not here to gripe about everything that's been going on in WWE. Instead, I'm here on behalf of every wrestling fan in America to inform you that if you do not begin to change your ways soon, wrestlers will not be the only people jumping over from WWE to TNA. See, if you pulled this maybe four years ago, you would've gotten away with it because of the lack of mainstay competition in the business. However, now that TNA has gotten so big and so recognizable with the wrestling fans, it's next to impossible to do all of this and get away with it. I, myself, have been watching TNA closely now for three years, and they are a very good company. At this stage, they're far more advanced in terms of story writing, booking, talent, and production than WCW or ECW was at this stage, which all the more spells bad news for you.
At the same time, I do not want the message to come across wrong. As I said, I have watched your product for fifteen years, and am a huge fan of it. I would just hate to see you throw away what has been a great company that has been a staple in the wrestling business (yes, I did just say "wrestling" and not "sports-entertainment") just for cheap thrills and cheaper pub.
Please head my warning; you won't be getting another one.
Before I go, I wanted to acknowledge Triple H tearing his right quadriceps tendon. They can say all they want that he'll be back anywhere from four to six months, but from the sounds of things, they'll be lucky if they get him back sooner than eight months from now. The only thing this is going to do is hurt WWE even worse and expose Vince McMahon for being a fraud of a genius. You remember all the talk for years about how Vince McMahon is a genius who single-handedly took down ECW and WCW, all the while building up new talent like they were Storm Troopers. Well, this is the one last defining chance Vince has of proving his detractors wrong and his supporters right. Although his detractors are salivating over his decision to move the Great Khali to RAW, but not as much as they are his explanation for moving Khali, that he's on RAW to help fill the void left behind by Triple H.
Not that I would ever want to be known as the guy who steals wrestlers' catchphrases, but to quote Stone Cold Steve Austin, "What?"
First and foremost, Khali is a klutz. He may be 7-4 and weigh in at 430 pounds, but that doesn't make him the second coming of Andre the Giant. Just because you slap that moniker on him doesn't make it so. Second, as I said to a pen pal of mine last week, short of Dave Batista, there's not hardly anybody on the WWE roster that could fill a void that big. You could make an argument for Chris Benoit, maybe Bobby Lashley, Rob Van Dam, or even King Booker. But all the guys that could have the easiest time filling that void were already on RAW to begin with: Shawn Michaels, John Cena, Edge, and Randy Orton.
Third, as I also stated in the same e-mail to my pen pal, the only thing Khali's move to RAW is going to do is put more superstars at risk of injury at the hands of somebody that doesn't know what the hell he's doing and that's bad considering you already have a guy like that on RAW (Umaga). And if you do in fact use Khali every single week on RAW, expect the exact same chants that came out during that abortion known as Rosie vs. Donald to come out from the crowd during his matches every week: TNA! TNA! TNA!
Finally, I will now share with all of you, as well as the clowns in WWE, my WrestleMania demands. In order for WWE to convince me that WrestleMania 23 is worth spending $60 on, not to mention take time off from work for, all of these demands must be met:
1. Umaga
can not be in the main event under any circumstances.
2. If you're going to have the Undertaker's undefeated streak snapped this year, at least snap Edge's next year. Maybe even have Undertaker be the one to end Edge's WrestleMania winning streak.
3. If there's going to be an ECW match, at least let it be an Extreme Rules match.
4. Chavo Guerrero
can not be in the main event under any circumstances because I already know the circumstances that would have to exist for Chavo to be there anyway.
5. I better not see Kevin Federline there unless he's getting his ass kicked legitimately by Eminem, followed very closely by the rest of D12, and then Batista. Detroit is Slim Shady's turf, not K-Fed's!
6. There better not be a ten-minute segment where women prance around in next to nothing or even a Kelly's Expose right before the last match of the evening. I know how notorious WWE is for cramming that all-so-important cat fight or clueless women walking around in bikinis segment right before the last match at WrestleMania.
7. If in fact Khali ends up facing Hulk Hogan, as rumored, and what I suspect could happen does happen, I think it's only right that Vince break kayfabe and have Khali arrested for murder, then turn himself in for being an accessory to murder, and then pay for Hogan's funeral, as well as give the entire Hogan family half of the McMahon family fortune. What the **** are you thinking putting Hogan in the ring with Khali?! Do you want Hogan dead?!
8. If in fact Vince McMahon is in a match, let him lose and lose in spectacular fashion like he does at WrestleMania every year.
If all of these demands are not met, you can forget having my $60 because I'll just read what happened on one of the news sites later that evening. I have more important things to spend that kind of money on other than pointless PPV events, such as a Jazz game; just like I have better things to do than watch pointless PPV events, like working.
As always, I welcome your questions, your comments, your concerns, your complaints, your compliments, and your e-mails, no matter how sour or sweet, at my comment box, or e-mail address as they call it these days. Until the next time I am ready to grace you all with my presence, you are encouraged to read, to learn, and to continue to understand that I'm not anti-WWE. There's plenty about WWE that I like. It's just a shame that all that is good about WWE gets overshadowed the way it does by all the bad things Vince McMahon and his merry band of yes-men have done. For that reason, among many others, I'm just anti-Vince McMahon. Vince McMahon, I just got two words for you: psychiatric evaluation. Get one, today preferably.
I want to congratulate Christian Cage on winning his second NWA World Heavyweight Championship defeating Abyss and Sting at Final Resolution. Now, a word of advice, Christian: enjoy your title reign while it lasts because you're just the final speed bump in Kurt Angle's quest to become a seven-time World Heavyweight Champion. Cherish these moments, Christian Cage, while you still can.
Eddie Guerrero 1967-2005
May you rest in peace, but never rest in our hearts
Send feedback to
RaulCBK@comcast.net.
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