How Hard Would It Be?
Professional Wrestling isn’t brain surgery. It is logic. What makes successful feuds and rivalries is simple and understandable logic. It is when common sense forgets to be injected into a storyline when things go wrong. There is no short supply of examples that I can use to highlight why wrestling “forgets” their own stories. Also, illusionary boundaries that separate ‘brands’ have become as meaningless as the ‘feud’ Raw & Smackdown guys have towards each other. This is a column that uses the top feud as an example asking the question any real fan has right now. How hard would it be?
Triple H & Shawn Michaels almost killed each other in 2002. When the original DX reunion was staged and we saw them come out to the delight of the crowd as D-Generates, HHH shot HBK down. What resulted was a bloody, brutal, all out war between arguably two of the best wrestlers still active today. It is my favorite feud. It had everything, history, friendship, jealousy, betrayal, then gore. Summer Slam 2002 “Unsanctioned” match between the two had me at the edge of my seat. Was HBK going to survive HHH? As they fought on through the Elimination Chamber, 3 Stages of Hell, and the Hell in a Cell, I found there to be no real climax. A feud that stretched on for about 2 years kept my interest because it was logical.
Triple H was just waiting to explode from under Shawn’s shadow. When HBK did go down, it was HHH who took the ball and ran with it. He revolutionized DX and made it a full fledged faction. Triple H used DX (both in screwing them over and then once again recruiting them) to make himself the Heavyweight Champion. Just when HHH thought he was on top of the wrestling world, Shawn comes back. HHH, seeing his top spot jeopardized, he mounted an offensive strike. How hard was it to make a feud with emotion, passion, and common sense? Obviously very hard since it hasn’t even come close to being topped.
Even though the 2000’s have been a bad time for quality in the wrestling industry, it hasn’t been bad with potential. Evolution created something out of nothing. You had a kid who looked retarded until he flipped his hair up and a giant Brock Lesnar look-a-like who defended D-Von Dudley who both were ‘hired’ by HHH to become the future. Alongside his idol and inspiration, Ric Flair, Evolution was born. Logic, once again, was used to book a formidable team with realistic aspirations. Triple H & Ric Flair teamed up because Flair needed his fire back.
Last year when HHH made his return, after being embarrassed by former Evolution member Batista, he took the fight to Ric Flair using his tried and true tactic of getting in the first shot. Although when the turn came it made sense but that was only because of rumors running wild at the time said HHH would come for Flair upon his return. But why? What drove HHH to attack his mentor? I will fill in my own conclusion that HHH felt like he didn’t have it anymore. While HHH was nursing injuries sustained from being beaten 3 PPV’s in a row by a former body guard, he came back to see Flair as an Intercontinental Champion. Flair found his fire again, and HHH tried to snuff it out.
How hard would it be to remember these two major storylines when trying to merge the three men together? Flair & HBK had their battles during the Evolution storyline and HHH fought both HBK & Flair, brutally too. Yet, on Raw, because they are all faces, they can strut around the ring and have a good ol’ moment together. How sweet. How f**king sweet they forget their battles. Hell, let’s not even mention the fact they all hated each other a year ago. HHH & HBK did have some mutual issues with the McMahons but the real HHH would never have reverted back to the retard that he was with DX. In fact, when he was in DX he didn’t even act as stupid. The King of Kings? Please Triple H, if you ever try to become that character again I will replay the clip of you getting a blow job under the table during a cookout you used during some stupid Summer Slam hype. The 10-time World Champion only remembers who he is when you watch the Raw vs Smackdown 2007 commercial.
The biggest problem with logic is that writers, bookers, or whoever the hell is running the show, see wrestlers as one of two people, a face and a heel. It is written clearly in the unwritten law book that all faces are friends and all heels are friends. That is why we have two guys who almost killed each other pair up to face two heels, Edge & Randy Orton. OH WAIT, I almost forgot, Edge & Orton are the best of friends! That is logical… wait… how is that illogical? Oh right, when Edge came back to Raw he won the Intercontinental Title from Orton’s historic 7-month reign back in ’04. That is right, Edge was originally on a mission to end Evolution and stop HHH’s reign at the top. Well, his mission is forgotten but his purpose is still there. He wants to kill HHH’s tyrant control and thus become himself the new King of Kings, only Rated R. He even got the man HHH kicked out of Evolution, Orton, to help him do it. This all makes perfect sense now.
Does it? How hard was it to read that? Well this is how my mind works. Wrestling gives us stories but forgets they happen. Edge came to Raw stating his purpose to dethrone Triple H. Although Edge never really continued his mission to stop HHH, it could have been the basis for future storylines. But no, the WWE chooses to only draw whatever they need from whomever or whatever they want. If you watch the ad for December to Dismember, you see clips of the past Chamber matches. Funny how Eric Bishoff, Kevin Nash, Goldberg, Chris Jericho, and many others are skipped right over as if they never existed in context to the chamber. Even funnier is how Bishoff’s idea is now the main event gimmick for an ECW PPV. How hard would it be for the WWE to get over its own arrogance and acknowledge the past. Goldberg, Jericho, Nash, Angle, Christian, and many others were all at one point or another integral to the WWE and yet they can’t even show a highlight from one of those men!
It is a disgrace to the wrestlers who at one point or another gave something to the business. It wouldn’t be hard to remember who major storylines. I can understand forgetting we already saw Masters vs Lawler or Carlito about a thousand times, but not the HBK, Flair, & HHH fiasco. Aside from giving color to pro-wrestling, storylines are used to advance characters and create more complex and interesting drama from it later on. Some old dramas can be put off to the side, like Flair’s feuds with Piper. It has been almost a decade and a half since they had epic battles so they may have had conversations over the years to make them such good friends and Tag Team Champions. But I just don’t get others.
These are just a few of the other things that made me ask “How hard would it be to just explain why?”
- How Matt Hardy & Edge can not acknowledge Lita’s retirement.
- How Joey Mercury can come from no where to join Nitro to face the Hardys at an ECW PPV… Didn’t Nitro & Melina assault Mercury after Judgment Day?
- How Raw, Smackdown, and ECW are supposed to be enemies but all be able to get along on the same teams despite being at war (minus ECW) only one year later?
- Why Raw & Smackdown had beef to even begin with?
- How Benoit fits into the Guerrero storyline? (To fans it makes sense but to anyone not obsessed with wrestling its random)
- How the creative team can put together awesome Smackdown and ECW’s with inferior big names and yet suck with Raw and its mega star power.
- How the Miz has a job?
Am I crazy to ask these questions? You need to have a bad case of ADHD to even follow wrestling anymore. One minute you have Cena vs Edge for the WWE Title then the next moment have Orton & Edge defending the Tag Team Titles against the Hardy Boys? Is it so hard to add logic? They have WWE.COM, they can put stories and explanations up anytime they want with no air-time to affect the message but choose to run stories on Little Bastard’s secret life.
I ask you one last time, how hard would it be to just be logical? Maybe wrestling isn’t meant to be logical. Maybe faces will always just buddy up with enemies just because the fans cheer them the same way. Maybe old feuds will be forgotten to help justify current ideas. Maybe the WWE targets its product to people who just don’t remember. Well I do, and I am spending my hard earned money to watch it. How hard would it be for the WWE to actually market Professional Wrestling to the Wrestling audience that watch it and not to the kids and stakeholders who could care less if MNM ‘broke up’ if it means a rushed together dream match at a PPV without an under card just days before the event.
I just don’t know.
Aftermath thoughts: ECW’s PPV needs help, FAST. Why not make ECW the Tag Team Division brand? With only a World Title and a Tag Division, ECW would be perfect for people who want to make an impact and lack the individual ability too, yet. It wouldn’t be hard to have ECW have a tournament on the PPV to make champs. They have enough talent to make even a small 4-team tourney with Burke/Terkay, FBI, Daivari/Khali & London & Kendrick. The champs can then face off against the winner of MNM and the Hardys in the coming weeks. Any team looking to push themselves would leave Raw & Smackdown and go to ECW.
This would limit Raw & Smackdown to singles titles and matches. Now, Tag Team matches would have more importance (and logic) as well as giving more weight to all of the titles on the other shows.
How f**king hard would it be?
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