Hi all, welcome to a column this week inspired by the Kaiser Chiefs hit and a tribute to my favourite match of the year, the Royal Rumble, happening later this month.
It’s one of my favourite hit singles of the last couple of years, with the sinister sounding guitars, high energy and tempo. If you have never heard it before then I would strongly recommend you download it or if you have a copy of Gran Tourismo 4, listen out for it – it was on the soundtrack to the game, which was actually released some months before the single was! But it’s the feel of chaos and disorder within the song, not to mention the title, which draws connections for me to the annual free-for-all event.
For me, one of the most appealing things about the Royal Rumble is that it is the epitome of absolute pandemonium within the WWE. But what makes it even more interesting than your typical Battle Royal, is that it is so gloriously unfair. Whilst a Battle Royal will usually have all competitors starting the match together, the Rumble starts with just two and periodically introduces a new competitor at regular intervals, of course giving the last man in a colossal advantage. What’s more, rarely is anything actually done to earn that advantage. OK, sometimes they will have a storyline where some top guys are offered the chance to start at number 30, and sometimes stars on the bad side of the General Manager will be told they are to start from number 1 if they like it or not, but other than that there is no particular reason for wrestlers coming in at the time they do. There isn’t even an ongoing ranking system in the build up to the Rumble which determines the starting order, it is all seemingly done ad hoc – and that’s what I love about it!
But considering that this special event is nearly two decades old, is it time for a change? The last major alteration to the Rumble was the increase in talents taking part from 20 to 30, and that was back in 1989. During that time matches have gotten faster, more athletic and high-flying, which leaves the hour long Rumble, which restricts competitors to just the floor of the ring, kind of lagging behind. Are there things that could be done to give the Rumble a bit of a facelift? Sure it’s still a great event even now, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement!
As I just mentioned, the Rumble itself is usually about an hour long, and I don’t think that should change. Despite the fact that matches and attention spans are shorter these days, because so much happens during it I feel it now makes it stand out as an event even more throughout the year. Every January, be prepared to sit down for an hour and indulge in some rather unique carnage – if anything the concept is even more exciting now than ever before! But there are definitely some things that can be done in booking the match to make it even more appealing, as there have been some things over the years that have annoyed me.
To start with, why is it that the guy who comes in last has never won? That’s not a rhetorical question either because the answer is simple – it’s the easiest and most expected finish. But now it’s gotten to the point where the average fan knows to rule out the obvious and pick something a little more out there for the finish. In fact you’ll see a disproportionate number of people betting on the guy who enters first to win. Why? Again, not a rhetorical question, but because it keeps happening! Last year, we got left with Triple H, Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton as the final three. Triple H and Rey were entrants one and two respectively and a part of me sarcastically thought “Oh, what a surprise!” If truth be told, it was anything but and it took away from what should have been a great finish because there was so much heat between them all from the press conference.
Which leads me to another point – why have we never had a real shock underdog winner? Sure, Mysterio was touted as an underdog last year, but they were hammering the point home so much and he was getting such a push beforehand, we all suspected that that wouldn’t be the case. Why don’t we have someone on the low to mid-card win it with absolutely no fanfare beforehand at all? I know it sounds crazy because they go on to Main Event Wrestlemania, but I think the story could work. The guy comes from nowhere and sneaks a victory in the Rumble, one or two high carders complain, saying he doesn’t deserve to go to Wrestlemania and the winner spends the next two months building up to what is easily the biggest match of his life. You would be left with a real David versus Goliath match and although the Champion should probably win the match, the Challenger would give a good account of himself before slowly drifting back down the card, albeit with a little more respect from the rest of the roster and perhaps a greater appreciation from the fans for talents lower down the card as a whole. I know it’s a bit out there, but I reckon it could work! Pick a veteran with good mic skills and potential as a face and you could well be on to a winner and what’s more, no-one would have seen it coming, because we’re so used to the same themes within the Rumble happening each and every year.
But the thing is, whilst there are more obvious suggestions that could be made as an attempt to liven things up, I’m not entirely sure they would work. For example, could there be a separate cruiserweight Rumble? The format and structure of the Rumble in its present form is not really conducive to a cruiserweight’s moveset, as their constant flirtation with the top rope would mean they are always in danger of elimination, not to mention the fact very few, if any, could keep their breakneck pace for a full hour. Consequently they tend to suffer quite badly in that environment. So why put cruiserweights in the match at all? Let’s give them some other way to shine that night. With so many heavyweights participating in the Rumble, it could be their best chance of the year to steal the show with an innovative cruiserweight match.
Would it work adding yet more men to the match or even splitting into separate Rumbles for separate brands? Maybe, I guess it depends how it was done. Although I must admit I like the idea of the cross-brand competition and I would be worried that too many competitors would either make the match too long or there would be too much happening to take in. Would a year when each entrant to take part is drawn live and unrigged as the Rumble takes place? It would be difficult to work and very difficult to book, but that extra level of unpredictability might well be interesting. Either way I am very much looking forward to watching this year’s Rumble. Whilst Triple H’s injury throws open a little more who will win I can make one prediction that I know will happen. At the Royal Rumble 2007, I Predict A Riot!
Just a thought…
Want to give feedback on this week’s column? E-mail me at stuart_black@hotmail.com and send me your thoughts. Any ideas for improvements and changes you would like to see to the Rumble? Drop me a line and share your ideas!
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