The Rant Of The Week: Cut Jeff Some Slack
Posted by Phantom Lord
on 03/17/2008
Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow Phantom Lord and this is the all mighty and important Rant Of The Week. As always I am coming to you from the urban slum that is Brooklyn, New York and spring is almost upon us and Ohh, my God. I’m gagging and vomiting at the same time! I’m…I’m gavomiting!
Scrubs have quickly become my favorite show on television, so I had to throw that line in there. As usual I get into a show when it’s coming to an end. But there are some rumblings that there might be a season 8 on either NBC or ABC so color me thrilled if I get another season of Dr. Cox. Dr. Cox would be an awesome heel in wrestling. His verbal put downs would be the stuff of legend after a few years.
In my last column I wrote about the RAPE OF HONOR debacle that ROH had and I actually did some fantasy booking and put together a logical angle to salvage that pile of crap from them. I mean if your going to have the balls to do a sports entertainment angle in front of a bunch of fanboys who’s definition of sports entertainment is how many lariats and back drop suplexes does it take for someone to get a concussion you should at least stick it through to the bitter end. But as we know and many people in “da business” will tell you, Gabe is a moron. First he says “OH MY GOD I’M SORRY, WE’LL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN” and then a week later “WE WON’T DO IT AGAIN, BUT WE’LL PUT IT ON THE DVD ANYWAY SO MAKE SURE TO BUY IT”. You gotta love that kind of hypocrisy, but it is professional wrestling so I expect nothing less then that.
But I will say this. That was the last time I will ever focus a column strictly on Ring of Honor ever again. I think the astounding lack of feedback was proof that ROH’s fanbase is pretty damn minute in the grand scheme of things. It’s a shame though, that fantasy booking was some of my best stuff in a long time.
Moving along, you have to admire the WWE for changing WWE.com into this grand portal of wrestling news. Their Industry News section is just so fun to read especially when they post articles on TNA, ROH, Chikara, and even UXW.
Michael Cole has been removed as head of WWE.com as Vince felt that his performance was disappointing due to the articles on the website and the drop in daily unique visitors. Vince wants WWE.com to be the starting point for all wrestling fans seeking news. The goal is to make the site resemble a cross between the Drudge Report and Daily Variety. This is what prompted an "industry news” section on the website that features news articles from some of the most popular pro wrestling websites online and covers promotions such as TNA, ROH, and others. The budget for the site has also been increased as they are trying to develop partnerships with MySpace and Facebook. Shane had a similar idea for the website before but it was shot down by Stephanie. His vision for WWE.com was to have it as a subscription service where fans could get all the "industry news” and have no need for websites such as this one (We aren't going anywhere).
Credit to The Wrestling Observer
I have to admit a cross between The Drudge Report and Variety would be awesome. I mean I’d love to see the little Drudge siren on WWE.com for breaking news.
BREAKING NEWS: VINCE MCMAHON TO APPEAR ON LIVE EDITION OF TNA IMPACT
Now that would be awesome if the WWE put that kind of stuff up on the website. It would be like the links people have at the end of news bits on the news sites only they wouldn’t be misleading (not to say anyone on this site or any other would do such a thing).
Overall my hat is off to Shane McMahon. Shane’s direction has actually led to things feeling much different. I’ll hand it to him on this and the Mayweather deal. At first I didn’t think it was working, but after last week if Wrestlemania 24 didn’t cost $54.95 to watch, I would order it just to see the full scale riot that is bound to break out between the WWE locker room and Mayweather’s posse. Add to that 50 Cent will probably be there with his posse and the rumors of Fat Joe buying up the first row just to egg 50 Cent on we could get a show that would make the skirmishes at The Source awards look tame. It is a fun time to be a wrestling fan. It’s just a shame the economy is in such bad shape that a lot of people will pass on ordering Wrestlemania just because of the price.
But still kudos’ to Shane McMahon and WWE.com. Aside from the industry news my favorite bits on the site are Santino’s Casa (which should be a live show like Piper’s Pit since I’m convinced Santino can be the new Roddy Piper) and JBL’s Take. JBL is pretty straight forward with his views on the economy. I just wish it was like his old JBL videos on the website. At least back then you could e-mail him some feedback and he would (or maybe one of his stooges) would respond to you.
And Shane if you’re looking for a loudmouth to add some depth to WWE.com with some opinions…you guys do have my contact info. I would take the Rant corporate in an instant.
Ok the odds of that happening are about slim and none, but an honest to God IWC columnist can dream can’t he.
Moving along the big news this week was Jeff Hardy is suspended for 60 days because he failed a drug test. The good news for the WWE is it wasn’t steroids. The bad news for him is it was probably something pretty bad (a lot of people are betting Meth) and he cost himself a WWE title run and main event push.
Now a lot of people are saying Jeff is a major idiot for blowing the biggest push of his career. He’s out of Wrestlemania, out of a Wrestlemania payday, and out of the MITB which he probably would have won. I won’t deny his timing is stupid, but I’m willing to cut Jeff a break.
A few years ago I would have said the hell with him, but as I’ve said in previous columns I’ve really changed my opinion on Jeff Hardy. It started with him in TNA when I wanted him to win the NWA World Title (but then again when Jarrett is champion, anyone is good). When he came back to the WWE he seemed recharged and he’s had some damn good matches since he came back. Hell last week on RAW despite having to go out and do the J O B and being suspended, he still put on a MOTY candidate with Chris Jericho and I hope when he comes back they can continue the feud because it was really starting to get good with them.
I don’t feel sorry for Jeff, but on the same token I can understand why he was resorting to shall we say more powerful forms of narcotics.
Jeff by his own admission said this in a news paper interview.
Jeff Hardy was interviewed this week by Charleston's The Post and Carrier newspaper. Hardy revealed that his body is in real bad shape. "My ankles are really weak. A lot of that stems from motocross in the past. I've got a (bone) chip in my right kneecap now, pain in my elbows and two herniated discs in my neck and my back. I'm not feeling great, but I've been extremely lucky that I've gone this far without surgery. So I'll just keep knocking on metal or wood."
I mean when they ask you to take all these high risks like jumping 30 feet off a scaffold or off the top of a steel cage or all the other insane stuff he has done, I would think there should be some leeway in his testing. I’m not saying they should ignore it. If the guy has a problem then do what you can so he isn’t found dead in a hotel room somewhere like so many others. But if his work isn’t suffering and he isn’t showing up high as a kite then what’s the harm.
I know I’m gonna get some hate for that, but come on. Let’s face the facts here. Over the last 25 years since Vince took over the WWF/E name me one top star of his that WASN’T on some sort of illegal drug. The only difference between then and now is they have to give the illusion that their drug testing policies are working because Congress has nothing else of interest to do (ie see the economy). Up until now it was lower carders who were getting busted. The complete burial and destruction of DH Smith is proof of this. But now that a top star has gotten busted, for the WWE it proves to the nay sayers that their system works and they are “looking out for the well being of their performers”.
JEFF HARDY’S HOME GOES UP IN FLAMES
See isn’t the siren a nice touch. Anyway as you might have read, if things weren’t bad enough for Jeff this week on Friday a fire broke out at Jeff’s house and it burned to the ground. Luckily Jeff and his girlfriend weren’t at home at the time but sadly Jeff’s dog died in the inferno.
On TMZ.com they have a report saying the police don’t suspect foul play because Jeff didn’t have his home insured. I might have to retract my earlier statement about drugs not really being that big of a deal for Jeff. Even if you paid in cash for the house (though I believe Jeff had a double wide trailer) you should still have some sort of insurance just on the off chance something happens and it’s destroyed. Now I’m guessing Jeff probably isn’t hard up for cash (plus Matt has a huge house on the same property so he wouldn’t have to go too far I would guess for a room). So the house can be replaced. Over time one can get past the tragic death of a pet. But overall I would imagine that Jeff will get past this and be back in two months time.
The only thing one would have to wonder about is would Jeff come back in the shape his is now or would he revert back to how he was in 2001-2002 when he was dipping himself in day glow in his attempt to be a human lava lamp. If Jeff comes back like that, then he would probably be gone by the summer because it would be clear he didn’t give a shit anymore. But if Jeff comes back in the shape he has been in for the last year and continues to have good matches I see no reason why he shouldn’t get his spot back in the main event scene.
The WWE needs a new face in that mix and John Cena OVER COMING THE ODDS over and over every month is not what I would call keeping it fresh. Yes it would be a risk to have Jeff in the main event scene, but I figure keep him on a short leash if you have to. Test him every single week and random times before shows if you must. The fact remains Jeff Hardy is a goldmine for the WWE as he is by far the most over good guy in the company. Only Rey Mysterio is probably as over if not more over then him. Jeff is finally a huge star and it would be stupid to keep in the mid card over all of this. I mean Randy Orton was a major douche bag and he got suspended for 60 days (not for drugs though) and he over came that and he’s now a solid main eventer (even if his bland robotic monotone promos suck).
I’m cutting Jeff some slack. I hope he gets things in order and comes back better then ever. Was he stupid…well yeah. But should it be held against him? No, not at all. Like I said he isn’t the first top start to be on some pretty hard drugs and he won’t be the last.
On that note that is it for this week. Today is St. Patrick’s Day so try not to get to drunk and start too many fights or start fights and then get drunk. Either way try not to get to shitfaced.
So until next time take care and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.
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