Jared - Weeeeeeeeeeeeelcome everyone to Swerve Stadium! Weeeeeeelcome everyone to Swerve 504! We're rolling on the edge of the breaking wave that was Wrestlemania season, with some fresh changes hitting WWE. But this isn't a usual self-involved soap box of a column, I'm supposed to be bouncing my ideas off another...
So once again, let me introduce Sanchez, the Amazing Language Monkey!
Mitch - Sanchez?
*Looks around*
I don't see a Sanchez, but fear not, I'm here for more columnist shenanigans. Is it really Swerve 504? Wow, I can't believe we forgot to throw a party for Swerve 500 some four editions ago.
*A Swerve monkey whispers in Mitchell's ear*
What do you mean we did throw a party?
*He whispers some more*
I was drunk? Really?
*And some more*
Passed out?
*And some more*
I did WHAT with Scage's sister?
Jared - Hey, Swerve monkey! Where's Sanchez? I love that monkey... Sanchez, not you.
Anyway, statutory rape and lost monkeys aside, we have a show to do. Vince McMahon made his return to television a couple of weeks back to announce a draft lottery. A date has not been set as yet. When's this going to happen, what key changes are we looking for?
Mitch - Well, we're looking for a more equal balance between the brands, and also some fresh pairing opportunities opened up by the draft. I think the draft itself is set to take place shortly after Judgment Day because the WWE feel that Backlash and Judgment Day have decent buyrate prospects by offering Wrestlemania rematch main events.
Jared - Ah yes, a valid theory. Now we all want to see the brands even out (and by all, I mean you and I), but is Vinnie Mac likely to provide? Smackdown has become so blatantly a B-show. Following the last draft they were robbed of Triple H (who had already moved away from Smackdown once) for a bunch of midcarders. Now the talent and value of those midcarders aside, the allocation of Hunter alone speaks volumes.
Mitch - I think the Hunter factor is an interesting point. However, even though Hunter is a big name, I think Smackdown! doesn't need him in this draft to end up getting the better end of the deal. Sure, with Vince's faith in Hunter then whichever brand he is on is probably Vince's favourite, but if Smackdown! has the better matches and feuds, nobody will care.
Jared - Well I'm not so much talking about the quality of the product the performers and writers can muster, but the indications of how much backing the higher ups are giving the show. For instance, I could not imagine Triple H going over to Smackdown in a million years, because he, as one of the higher ups himself, would consider it beneath him. And Vince, as the highest of higher ups, would agree.
That's not to say they can't put on a damn good show. You could make an amazing roster out of people WWE has discarded entirely, let alone who they have shipped to Thursday nights.
Mitch - Exactly. I think the live factor is key. Raw is live so, naturally, I think it's looked at as a higher priority of focus by Vince and the WWE team. They need to focus a lot of energy on a live show. Smackdown!, as you rightly suggested, has a B-grade stigma and reputation attached to it now, when it was easily the better show when the draft first took place (remember the "Smackdown! Six", anyone?).
Jared - Oh the Smackdown six. They could have run with that for years. I miss it so. When I pull out an old tape and see all of them in the ring, honest to God warms my heart.
Mitch - Yep, it was miles better than Raw, and you know what? I honestly think Vince deliberately dragged Raw above Smackdown! because of the live factor issue and Raw being his premiere show. I think he saw the Smackdown Six and felt it were wrong for Smackdown! to be doing better than Raw. I honestly believed he made a concerted effort to shift the balance after he saw Smackdown! was performing better following the initial draft.
Jared - Well he has taken Edge and Benoit away, with possible plans to take Angle. Now, those are some big losses.
However, the Smackdown Six are still putting on a show... In fact two of the reasons I'm loving Smackdown right now are from the six. Who might that be Mitch?
Guerrero and Rey Mysterio. No doubt about it.
Jared - That feud is red hot. They didn't feel the pressure to speed it up for Wrestlemania, and I've gotta eat my words and say that it was perhaps a good move. If every feud peaks for March, what's left for April? Well these two used March as a springboard for a program that is on the stove and slowly reaching the boil.
Mitch - Yep, and Judgment Day looks like it could be a decent watch because of this feud. I think the wrestling world is buzzing from THAT brainbuster on the steel steps. I've never seen anything like that. How amazing was that. Plus, I have to eat my words too. I felt Eddie was too popular to turn heel. I felt he had too much support and he'd soon be back as a face (as has happened in his previous runs as a heel). However, I've been proved wrong. He has been getting the heel heat, which surprises me.,
Jared - Well chalk that one up to an awesome, amazingly intense act from Eddie. His mannerisms alone have taken this feud to heights unknown.
Mitch - Yeah, they've been great. I found myself asking why Eddie didn't reach out and tag the other week too. It's been some great emotion and intensity.
Jared - I find myself actually understanding the mindset of Eddie, and siding with him, only to then see Rey's side of it and switch. I can't say that I remember ever experiencing that before.
Mitch - Haha. Excellent. It's been intense to watch, and Rey's mask being torn and the back of his head being brutalised was riveting and shocking to watch. I think, seeing as Judgment Day is an exclusive Smackdown! PPV, we can be assured of seeing ONE HELL of a Rey Eddie match, which may last anywhere in between the 20-30 minute bracket from bell-to-bell.
Jared - And that won’t be the end of it. This feud will run through to Summerslam, if it stops there. Unlike a pairing such as JBL and Big Show, these two can go in the ring as many times as they need to and it won’t get stale.
Mitch - Exactly. I feel we're in for a summer of Rey and Eddie interaction. I hope it goes through to a Summerslam climax. I think Judgment Day will be the biggest match of them all, though. Summerslam is a joint production and the card gets pretty rammed to the point that matches sometimes need to be shortened (i.e. Angle-Eddie from last year). Still, whatever chance you get to see these two go at it, you take it.
Jared - Rey and Eddie have this PPV to show them what they can do... perhaps that will earn them a decent slot for Summerslam. Perhaps not...
Mitch - On the Raw side of things we have a Gold Rush tournament, which meant the focus was on the wrestling aspect this past week (something Smackdown! has been getting a positive reputation for, despite ratings). We saw a couple of shocks in the early rounds. What were your thoughts on the first round, and how do you see the rest of the tournament shaping up?
Jared - I didn't like Christian going out early, but only half of them could go through so that's just the rules of the game. You know here in Australia for the second time in recent memory a show (first a Smackdown, this time Raw) cut to the last commercial break only to never return.
So I'm going to boldly assume Triple H won his match?
Mitch - I didn't like that either. The booking had me scratching my head on that one, and also on Ed "I've already got a title shot anyway" ge beating Chris "I just gave an emotional speech about sacrificing stuff for another title reign, suggesting I may get a mini-push" Jericho.
But, when I say some surprises in the first round, the HHH match is what I was mainly referring to. Chris Benoit actually beat HHH, Jared. HHH is out in round one.
Jared - Jericho's loss made zero sense to me, but only time will tell if there was more to that than a swerve finish to the first round match.
And for the record, I don't believe you and am checking the Internet.
Mitch - Not only did he beat him, but Benoit made him tap out like a bitch... to the SHARPSHOOTER. It was great.
Jared - I hate my cable company. Both times they cut out it was an important match. Useless ignorant pricks.
Mitch - Heh. It was a little tainted, though. Sure, HHH and Flair beat down Benoit, so they cheated. However, Benoit actually won through the blatant interference of Batista. He laid out Hunter and then pushes the ropes away from him as he tried to reach out.
The most infuriating thing about it, though, was JR on commentary with his "Batista just beat The Game" comment, totally ignoring Benoit. The camera didn't even pan on Benoit ONCE after the bell sounded. It was zoomed in on Hunter and Batista. Batista celebrating a glorious victory.
Jared - Well, underutilisation of Benoit isn't a new concept. Let's be thankful that it was Batista the subject and Hunter the afterthought. That's the best we can hope for.
Mitch - At least Benoit won. Sure, he cheated, but if HHH cheated to beat Benoit I'd still consider it as putting The Game over the Crippler. So, by that logic, Benoit still went over The Game.
Jared - Yeah, fairs fair. Benoit has at least one more match to boost his status, let’s hope they don't bury him there.
Of course, by the time this is published he will have been buried or not.
Mitch - Hah. Yes. So, Benoit over Hunter surprised me. Kane over Christian also left me scratching my head. Edge over Jericho baffled me. Benjamin-Michaels was about the only match that didn't leave me with eyebrows raised at the winner. That was an EXCELLENT match.
Jared - I think the Christian deal is that no one would imagine him going all the way, but like Big Show in a Royal Rumble, there's an unexplainable reason that a lot of fans will believe Kane has a chance in the tournament.
His presence in round 2 will be more meaningful to those people, not to us.
Mitch - The brackets for tonight are: Kane vs. Benoit, and Edge vs. Michaels. I can see Benoit being in the final. Not sure who against, though.
Jared - Benoit vs. Michaels would be the fresher match, though WWE may rather go with Edge and Benoit to save the Michaels match-ups for a high profile feud. If they ever went that road.
Mitch - You know what, I read a rumour the WWE are tempted putting Edge with Lita (since they're both getting the same heat so it'd make sense to lump them together) and that Lita will turn heel on Kane soon. Maybe Kane and Edge will be the final, actually.
Okay, so I have no clue who's gonna win tonight!
Jared - Another case of WWE thinking "well everyone knows what’s going on anyway, lets use the real heat on screen." A plan that sounds smarter than it is, in my opinion.
The "real heat" is coming from the fans to not just Edge and Lita, but to the backstage staff who screwed over Matt. And the real heat means they don't want to see those two on screen, more so Lita.
X-Pac sucks! That meant they actually didn't want X-Pac around... Lita's a Slut. Ditto. It doesn't mean she's magically a heel sensation.
Mitch - Haha, nicely put that last phrase. I see your point. I guess, though, the WWE are thinking if they're both getting their segments tainted by such chants, why not reduce the tainted heat they get by half by having them come out together, not separately?
Jared - Because it will piss off the fans. It's too soon. Lita should be taken off television, or at least turned heel on her own. Fans are rallying behind Matt, and antagonising those loyal MFers will only piss people off. This is the business of entertaining people.
Jake the Snake said it best, when he noted that singling out an audience member and making them feel like shit isn't going to make them come back and buy a ticket the next month. This is sticking it to a large portion of the audience.
Mitch - Well, I can't for a moment argue with Jake Robets now, can I? The MASTER of psychology and one of the best wrestling brains ever.
So, in light of all of this; any prediction for a tournament winner? Who's taking this thing? Who's getting to the final?
Jared - Well I assumed this was the set up for Triple H vs Batista Hell in a Cell. Is that not happening? I could imagine that not happening because Triple H can't lose again and Batista may not be done as champ...
I really don't know where they're going with this. I'll blindly pick Edge. Mainly because he’s the only heel.
Mitch - Yeah, which means he gets TWO title shots! Crazy!
Jared - Which would be an angle of original proportions... To lose one title match and have another in the bag. "Should I use it? I lost once, how can I overcome this monster..."
Mitch - Ok, so let's take this column full circle. We began with talk of the draft. Now, you mentioned in passing would Vince give us a more balanced roster split? Well, let's discuss this in closing. What movements will there be?
Personally, I think Smackdown! could make some very big strides in this draft. I have some faith and optimism that this draft will be a lot brighter for SD!. I remember after the last one that I wrote a column about how it left SD! in the lurch, but I don't envisage writing another one like that again.
Jared - They haven't been thrown any bones since then, in my opinion, but have managed to do well with what little scraps they have. I don't think they can be deprived much more than they have been, so either they will keep "making do" or they will get some help.
Let's have some names though. The big trades, who's switching?
Mitch - First off, the champs stay put. Both are scheduled on tours and advertised. Let's get out of the way before anything.
Christian. No doubt about it. Christian goes to Smackdown!. He challenges Champ Cena to a match, maybe at Summerslam. Maybe he'll win his first WWE Title. Smackdown! will gain big with Christian, and their thinner roster will mean he will have a shot at being a main eventer.
Jared - Christian's shots at Cena have had me in stitches. It was so deserving that he was adored in the UK. I think Australia would receive him likewise, but if he was at Global Warning, I don't remember much about his part.
Mitch - Orton could be off to SD!. He vows revenge on Batista for taking him out, which leaves some doubt in my mind, but he could face him in an inter-promotional match down the road. Still, if WWE want Orton as a top heel, he could use being on a different show to Hunter.
Jared - True, Orton is a tough call. Especially with no recent indications coming from him.
Mitch - Daivari to Smackdown!. After Hassan blamed him on Raw, I can see WWE trading him to Smackdown! as a cruiserweight and having him take on his own agenda, rather than just Hassan's lapdog.
WWE need at least one "team" to split to put over the brand as being unpredictable. These could be the team that are split.
Jared - I think though, his singles rise will depend on a feud involving him breaking free of Hassan, feeding off his heel heat. So he may not have time for that if traded, which could harm his push.
Mitch - Fair point, they could have him stick around for a feud with Hassan.
Well, we've mentioned possible guys going from Raw to SD!, but what about SD! guys to Raw? Unless you have any candidates for switching to SD! that you think haven't been mentioned yet?
Jared - Well I doubt Orton's chances of being traded, but it’s a tough, tough call. So there needs to be a big name going over to Smackdown. I think smart business would put HBK over there. His match with Angle was just a taste of what he has left in his tank, he just needs fresh opponents.
So, I don't know if he will, but I want that.
Other than him, someone like Kane could move. A fringe player on Raw who could make an impact on Smackdown, much like Big Show.
Mitch - That's a fair call. On the Michaels front, his feud with Angle may well continue on Raw, if Angle moved to Raw. I think that would be a bad move if Angle moved to Raw, though. I'd much rather see Michaels go to SD! to feud with Kurt, than Kurt to Raw to continue the feud.
Jared - Not to mention that when they were done with that feud, Michaels/Mysterio, Michaels/Guerrero for a start. Michaels could even work a program with Booker T, JBL or Big Show. They won’t be showstoppers, but they'll be fresh match ups that HBK would bring his own spice to.
Mitch – Oh boy, they would be excellent!
Jared - Mitchell is spent. We had to give you readers something special after a longer than usual absence, so we have exhausted the topic and ourselves. I'm satisfied. How about some hangman?
Mitch - Ok, shoot!
Jared - _ _ _ _ _ _ / _ _ _ / _ _ _ _ _ / _ _ _ _
Mitch - A E C F G
Jared - (add 2 more on there)
Mitch - T K
Jared - _ _ _ _ E _ / _ _ E / _ _ A _ T / _ _ C K
Send your guesses in to dgnr8s@hotmail.com and be the first in to win!
Tell 'em Mitch!
Mitch - FIRST IN!
Jared - What a rush...
Jared "He will not die." Balstrup
Mitchell "The Angelic Diablo!" Gadd
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