Jared - Weeeeeeeeeeeelcome everyone to Swerve 487.
*Jared turns to monkey*
Can we get that checked? Well as it usually is around cutting time, the past few weeks have caused a stir in the wrestling community, and it's about time we put our own Swerve on the situation. I'm joined here by... Mitch? Again? Oh fine, Mitch.
Mitch - Yes, like it or lump it, I'm here to give Swerve a second dimension... the first dimension being, of course... umm, Jared. But as my rainbow-coloured friend said, there's a lot to talk about in the wrestling community lately, some of which I covered in RBTR, but of course, we need the Swerve edge to this.
Jared - And I think there's even more you haven't so much touched on in RBTR, not that I know for sure since I don't read it...
(funny, but true... since im so lazy i wouldn't read my own son's work)
But why should I? Mitch is on my MSN!
That untouched topic being the post Wrestlemania shake up some believe we are witnessing. But we'll get to that. First...
Mitch - Well, there's only one place to start, and that's the recent cuts of a number fo roster members. The biggest cut of them all, and the most documented, being Matt Hardy's release. Rhyno and Molly Holly were among the others, too. As readers of RBTR will know, I feel very strongly about the decisions WWE have made lately. Jared, some people know my views on this, so let's hear your take.
Jared - Well I think it's ridiculous. I mean Hardy, Rhyno and Molly are bad, but Test had potential dammit!
Mitch - Test? Jared, I know clik.to/heinsight is a little lacking in recent updates, and your Hein Sight column is as dead as a dodo, but even that remark deserves a 'Get With The Times' slap from one of our Swerve monkeys.
*A Swerve monkey gives Jared a 'Get With The Times' slap and then scurries off*
Test!?!? *Monsoon voice* WILL YOU STOP!
Jared - Next Thanksgiving I'm going to give that monkey a turkey slap. Okay, so Test has been gone a while, but it was still a bad decision. And Rhyno, well you can get a lot worse talent for the lower card, I guarantee that. WWE don't need him, but I think their reason for letting him go was a bit rash.
Mitch - I know Vince interrupted a Rhyno and Tajiri match at a house show and blew a gasket a while back, so maybe this was a case of the last straw, but I find that difficult to accept. I think the timing was very bad, and illustrated a distinct lack of empathy on the part of the WWE in considering Rhyno's predicament.
Jared - Indeed. I'm sure Vince has lost his cool before, in fact I'm sure of it. Bob Holly snaps and beats people up in the ring and it's all good. Who's Bob Holly to get away with venting his anger? Certainly no more of a star than Rhyno. No better a worker either.
Mitch - Yeah, as I pointed out in RBTR (gotta love the cross-promotional shilling going on today) you have your thugs (Holly), your bag-shitters (Orton), your penis-twirlers (Ric Flair), your hair-clippers (Bradshaw). your Nazi-saluters (Bradshaw), your adulterers (Edge), your infidels (Lita) - the whole works. It just seems like a case of Double Standards (the name of the RBTR column... man I'm good!).
Jared - I laughed along as I read that, and I agree with all of them, except JBL. He did a heel mannerism that a lot of people felt was offensive. If he was deliberately doing it out of genuine distain for the crowd, that's awful. If he just went overboard to get heat, that’s cheap and in need of a slap on the wrist, no more.
But man do I agree with the inclusion of Orton. What more does he have to do? I doubt he even has a good story like a bitter divorce.
Random diva: Randy, why are you squatting over my bag?
Randy: Bitter divorce.
Mitch - Hahaha. Yeah, plus, if Trips had done what Rhyno had done I doubt for a second that he'd even receive a slap on the wrist, let alone a 'Get With The Times' slap from one of our Swerve monkeys.
Jared - Well... if he threw it at Nipple H? (Wrestlecrap coined)
Mitch - Haha, R. D. would be proud. Umm, dunno. Vince likes Hunter more than Steph now, probably. Haha, I have no clue. I reckon if he threw it at Rift's daughter or Sister Scage he'd be in DEEP trouble.
Jared - So we see Edge and Lita keep their jobs, though time will tell if they are kept on the same roster, whilst the talented man who holds a special place in my MSN pic, Matt Hardy, goes walking.
Mitch - Yer and as Jericho rightly pointed out, the man who has done nothing wrong in the entire situation. The innocent party. Matt Hardy has a lot of friends in the locker room it seems, and Jericho is one of them. Hardy got fired, supposedly, for making the situation public and voicing his concerns out in the open... so does the WWE punish Jericho for doing the same now? The WWE really do cut off their nose to spite their face.
Jared - Edge's wife made a great point on Hardy's website, when she said that if Matt Hardy went public to make WWE a buck (writing an exposing book for example) then no one would mind and he'd still have his job.
Mitch - Yes, and she also pointed out the numerous behind the scenes type programmes and exposés the WWE have produced on the private life issues of their stars.
Stuff like "Before They Were Stars" or WWE Confidential come to mind off the top of my head.
Jared - It seems right now if you stand in the way of Edge's success, his fault or yours, you better keep your mouth shut. The rosters are pretty thin of potential stars; WWE must be feeling the pressure.
Mitch - Which makes you wonder whether people like Jericho need to be a bit more tactful in voicing their displeasure at Hardy's firing.
Jared - I would hope that at least Chris Jericho would have enough job security to speak up a little, but Matt Hardy had worked so hard for many years for WWE, so it's not always that reasonable I suppose.
Mitch - Indeed. I wonder just how much impact the recent reaction of the Raw fans at Madison Square Garden, a place Vince regards as part of WWE's backyard and uses as a barometer for what works and what doesn't, have had on the boss.
Jared - I was so happy to hear that it shook Lita up, and boy could you see it. Also though, Edge put a damper on it by taking it lightly. I don't respect that.
It's hard to respect anything Edge does these days.
Mitch - It's not a situation to be taken lightly. If the WWE are all about business, and are firing the guy who, irrespective of being innocent, was (in their eyes) most dispensable in business terms, then surely, by the reaction of the fans Monday night, Edge has not helped business either. As Jericho said, this is not a smart business move on the part of those guilty, so it certainly doesn't warrant being taken lightly.
Jared - It seems he's falling into the X-Pac trap. Just because the fans are booing you, Edge, doesn't mean they're enjoying your performance as a heel.
Don't get me wrong, Edge doesn't think he's getting good heat as a heel, he thinks his heat from this real life situation is adding to his heel heat.
Mitch - It's adding to the amount of people who think he's a prick, that's for sure.
It was interesting to read Hardy's comments in his first interview since his release. He claimed he would have been able to handle himself professionally and work on the same roster as Edge and Lita without things getting awkward.
Jared - I'm sure Edge isn't the only one who would have needed a little time to work through awkwardness, but with a roster draft coming up why would WWE even need to worry about it?
Mitch - Exactly. Hardy said he thought, as did most of us, that he would simply be traded to Smackdown!, and all of this would have been solved. It still baffles me why the WWE didn't do that. Mind you, most of what the WWE decides to do in business terms these days baffles me. A second diva search? It's mind-boggling.
Jared - Indeed it is. They fire the Molly's and bring in the talent-less bimbos. Trish must be getting frustrated with the division she represents.
Mitch - Yeah, and I hear Molly may not have been fired. I heard that she asked for a release in the end because she got fed up with all the crap the WWE were pulling with the diva search stuff and putting the good women's wrestlers on the backburner. I don't blame here at all. Victoria could be next out the door if she's continued to be shunned. She strikes me as the sort who'd get fed up with the situation. In fact, I think I read about her complaining about it a month or two back.
Jared - Ah yes, that is what I meant about Molly. It all ends the same for the division.
Mitch – As it all ends the same for another edition of Swerve.
Jared – Like how?
Mitch – With a Mitcho-Man Wrap-Up.
Jared – I thought those days were over.
Mitch – Oh yeah… they are. We need new gimmicks on Swerve.
Next edition guys, don’t worry… we’ll start to *Vince voice* shake things up a bit. Jared will get drafted and replaced by the ghost of Tim Pulo.
One thing that will never change on Swerve is the hangman, though. We announced last edition’s winner in our Wrestlemania preview column, but since that was a special one-off Swerve with no new hangman, we’ll give the last winner another mention since this is the first official edition of Swerve since they won. Jared...
Jared - Congratulations to Xpunkgd86 for cracking the hardest hangman to date, our Mick Foley DVD hangman: THE FUNKER. Man, I must have had 10 different variations on this, but only one got what I was looking for. Well done indee indeed sir, Elan hands his cap to you.
Mitch – Hangman returns next edition. Folks, for Jared Balstrup, I’ve been Mitchell Gadd… for you, I’ve been Mitchell Gadd also… goodnight!
Mitchell “Carbon!” Gadd
Jared “Runs off to the gym and doesn’t have time to do a name” Balstrup
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