Jared - Weeeeeeeeeeeeelcome every to the Swerve Amphitheatre! Weeeeeeeeeeelcome everyone to Swerve 39! We are just week's away from our special Swerve 40, coming to you from the Swervles Centre in [insert gimmick-convenient location claim here] as we preview Wrestlemania XXONE!
Mitch - Yes, we're swerving it up LA style tonight with a lot hot women, juicy swerves, Scage's sister, Rift's daughter, bright lights, big tits and tenuous links.
*watches as all female Swerve readers change the channel*
Jared- Thanks Mitch, the pressure of an audience was getting to me. So Wrestlemania is drawing near, and I must say that for the first time since I got cable television I didn't just order Wrestlemania, I MADE SURE I ordered Wrestlemania, because damn this thing is legitimately shaping up.
(perhaps give a run down of the card)
Mitch - I'll admit, at first I was VERY sceptical about this show, and there are some build-up issues that I still have surrounding the card, but when push comes to swerve, I think this has the makings of being a really good show, and will easily be the best show of the year.
(perhaps give a run down of the card)
Jared – (dickface)
The booking has just stepped it up big time, more than I thought they were capable.
So far we have Triple H vs. Batista, JBL vs. Cena, Orton vs. Undertaker, Angle vs. Michaels, Trish vs. Christy, Money in the Bank Ladder match and Big Show vs. Akebono.
Now that's only 7 matches, so we can expect another 3 or 4 to be added to the card, maybe 3 considering we will have the fanfare of Hall of Fame inductees and Piper's Pit with the Rattlesnake.
Mitch - Yeah, and there's a good chance one of those three will be Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero, so we're not just talking about tag team matches and the like being added towards the end of the road to Wrestlemania, we're talking about a MEGA match!
Jared - But, on the flip side, we're probably talking about Booker T vs. Heidenreich, part 27. I hope not, but they are using air time building to that match. On top of that is Paul London probably challenging Chavo for his Cruiserweight title, which would be great for this card. Could really spice up the lower end.
Mitch - Yer, it does look like we'll see Heidenreich and Booker T, so that's not too enthralling. Seeing Chavo vs. London added to the card would be great, and at one point I was really hyped as it looked odds-on to be named. However, there were a couple of weeks where there was no interaction between the two and it's increasingly looking like it may be a pre-show Heat match, which would be a shame.
Jared - What does that leave us? Extended matches and fanfare? Or is there room for more on the card?
Mitch - I can't see any tag title matches being added. That would mean a Wrestlemania without any tag matches, which could be a first, but I'd have to look it up to be sure. I'd be scratching around for anything else being added. That would be 9 matches if the Book-Heidenereich, Rey-Eddie matches were added. With a Piper's Pit and Hall of Famers parade as well, I think that would easily consume the 4 hour show. Unless, of course, they make it over 4 hours like last year, but I'm sure that was a one-off due to it being Wrestlemania XX.
Jared - I have doubts that they will leave the card as is (with the other two added) and attempt to run that out to 4 hours, even if they only add one more match, but only time will tell. The worst thing they can do is water down the card. I probably would want to see more hoopla than to have average matches tacked on.
Mitch - Me too. Make a big spectacle and hype-job before and after every match. Spread and drag each match out if that is what it takes. I'd much rather see that than see some La Resistance vs. Regal and Tajiri type match added.
When I say spread and drag, I'm not just talking about giving these matches optimum time limits, either (though, that should go without saying). I'm talking about a nice promo package before each match, and maybe cutting to ringside before and after the entrances and exits with Cole/Tazz or JR/King giving their pre-match thoughts and, then, their after-match thoughts.
Jared - Yeah, that's exactly what it needs. And some fan fare too. Which band is performing? Saliva?
Mitch - Motorhead are going to be performing HHH's theme live, I know that much.
Jared - Ah yes, my mistake, Motorhead. I love a band playing someone's theme live. It was awesome at Wrestlemania 14 with Shawn Michaels, and since has been great with Triple H, Undertaker and let's not forget Doink at Wrestlemania 8.
Mitch - Doink? Huh?
Jared - You don't remember that big orchestra they hauled in from his anticipated showdown?
Mitch - My memory's getting bad then, because I don't remember that one bit. I didn't even think he was at Wrestlemania 8.
Jared - The match with Road Warrior Angus, sheesh you have swine knowledge. Anyway, Motorhead appearing. Is there a theme for Wrestlemania? If so, does that indicate another live band?
Mitch - There is a theme, but it doesn't appear to have any lyrics to it. I'm sure a few readers are aware of the theme being used if it is attributed to a particular band and is more than just an instrumental piece. For the time being though, there doesn't appear to be a particular song, as such, tied to Wrestlemania.
Jared - That's a shame. Remember how awesome it was when Limp Bizkit hit the high note in Crack Addict and the whole Superdome lit up with pyro? Amazing.
Mitch - Yer, we could use something like that. Once again, however, the arena size will prove a disappointment to yours truly. Sure, Madison Square Garden has a great history behind it, and they did a great job with it last year (as best they could) but, much like MSG, the Staples Centre isn't exactly the biggest of stages. I'd much rather it be held in arenas like the Houston Astrodome (Wrestlemania X-7), the Toronto Skydome (Wrestlemania X-8), or Safeco Field (Wrestlemania XIX). They were awesome venues, and had that big event feel to them. I doubt whether the Staples Centre will give me that impression, especially when it's regularly used (well, more regularly than most) as a PPV venue as it is.
Jared - And as I alluded to in the intro, it's usually labelled as Los Angeles, not Hollywood. Now I may not be American, but there is a difference isn't there?
Mitch - Pass. Both are in California. Hollywood is in LA, I believe. I can't be 100% sure, though. No doubt our American readers are screaming the answer at us as they read this. As far as I'm aware Hollywood is in LA, which, as I'm DEFINITELY SURE OF, is in California.
Jared - I've actually been past the Staples Centre and been to Hollywood, my vague memory tells me there's some creative license being used with Wrestlemania. But that's the magic of creative license... No biggie.
Mitch - Well, venue aside, what stands out on the card for you J-Man? What has got you so hyped about this card lately?
Jared - You know, the two title matches are an absolute afterthought for me. I have assumptions of who will win, and if they swerve me on those, I will pay more attention, but I doubt the match quality will be outstanding. So my focus is more on the inter-promotional matches. I want to see Orton make a splash possibly as a heel, I want to see just how good HBK and Angle can be. I would be looking forward to the 6 man ladder match more, but Kane being the sixth man leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I know he won’t actually ruin the match, but I just think he upsets the balance. So, the two inter-promotional matches for me.
Mitch - I think you hit the nail on the head with my views on the title matches in terms of quality and them being an after-though. However, I do think the HHH-Batista match has a little bit more appeal than the other because I'm genuinely not sure who will win it so, naturally, that creates some anticipation. As for the Money in the Bank Ladder Match, Kane being in it DEFINITELY upsets the balance. Also, I hate how this smacks of lazy booking. The creative team couldn't muster up something for their top mid-carders so it just seems like they've thrown them all in one match because they couldn't think of anything better to do.
For me, the two inter-promotional matches are definitely mouth-watering. Michaels and Angle should kick all kinds of ass. As for the other one, despite what many think, I'm actually very much looking forward to this one. For one, picking a winner seems a tough call to make. Secondly, if it establishes Orton as a heel then that is a big positive, because you know how I feel about him as a face. The match gives a nod to the past, with 'Taker's Wrestlemania record, so that gives me the feeling that this match will be something that won't be forgotten about in a month's time. Either it will add another name to 'Taker's record, or it will be a massive first loss for the Deadman. Either way, it creates history.
THAT'S what makes it a match worth seeing, and one I definitely look forward to.
Jared - I wasn't aware that this match was being put down, on what grounds? Because it was booked late or just general anti-Ortonism?
Mitch - Anit-Ortonism and anti-Takerism. The usual 'Taker gripes and the belief that Orton can't carry a match is the genuine reason for negative vibes.
Jared - Oh well, the match quality hasn't even crossed my mind. Like you, I think it's just an important opportunity to make history.
Mitch - Exactly. It's one of the few matches on the card where I actually believe it's something that will make an impact on Wrestlemania history for years to come, irrespective of the winner. I mean, I'm looking forward to Angle-Michaels, but it seems to me that with brand drafts that match could happen anytime. Sure, it'll be a great match, but sometimes the fact that Wrestlemania wants to book these novelty matches and matches that will only occur at Wrestlemania, it seems that it makes the event too one-night-only and too marooned from anything else. There's a danger that you could get the feeling that you could miss the show and you wouldn't miss anything that could impact on wrestling storylines and reaction over the next month, year, whatever. That's why 'Taker-Orton appeals more than most to me.
Jared - *Nods politely*
Mitch - Let's not forget, though, that if Rey-Guerrero is confirmed, that is definitely one to be added in the "looking forward to most" column.
Jared - Oh yeah, and there's hardly an 'if' to it. Speaking of Rey and Eddie, by coincidence I just purchased both their DVDs last Monday. Yet to get through them, but that should have me salivating for their match.
Mitch - Yep. Boy, that could be a corker. There have been a few murmurings of two-out-of-three falls for their 'Mania match. Man, that would be friggin' awesome.
Substitute could for WILL. It WILL be a corker
Jared - They could use a stipulation like that to ensure their match is given it's due length.
Mitch - Yeah. Plus, they did fight on Smackdown on-on-one just before they began teaming. So, it would give a new slant on the match at Wrestlemania... not that it needs any slant other than... IT'S FRIGGIN' REY VS. FRIGGIN' GUERRERO!
(a response to that and then close it up now, I guess)
Jared - Yes, that is correct.
Close it up now, you guess.
Mitch - (dickface)
Give us the hangman news, Jared, because I know there’s some rather interesting news about this one.
Jared - Now folks, for the first time ever a hangman has garnered incorrect guect guesses! And it remains unsolved. Last week Mitch guessed T E S and revealed
T _ E / _ _ _ _ E _
Mitch, 3 more guesses?
Mitch - H O G
Jared - T H E / _ _ _ K E _
There we go, I even threw in a K for you all, since the first word wasn't baffling anyone. So that should crack this mystery wide open. Be the first in to dgnr8s@hotmail.com!
Mitch - FIRST IN!
Jared - So we'll be back just before the big event to give you our match by match preview, hopefully with some special guests along the way.
Mitch - Hopefully? Definitely. I've booked at least one already.
Jared - See you then!
Jared "The Famed Haller" Balstrup
Mitchell "If I Build It, She Will Come!" Gadd
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