The current state of WWE reminds me of a staple wrestling in my youth that I used to call "The Stridex Injury List." In the days before WWE "Got the 'F' Out" and before they used to shill Axe Body Spray for men on every commercial break, one of the main sponsors of WWF/WWE-related programming was Stridex. The pubescent pimple remover had a series of commercials in the late '90s promoting a series of then-WWF superstar trading cards in each package. One can only imagine a young Gene Snitsky buying Stridex in bulk to simultaneously complete his collection and rid himself of the pesky bacne and chimples ("chest pimples", for the uninitiated) that undoubtedly plagued him during his teen years in Nesquehoning, PA.
But I digress. The superstars in the collection of trading cards included "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, The Undertaker, Sid, Ahmed Johnson, and Bret "The Hitman" Hart. Ironically enough, the top-shelf crew featured on the Stridex trading cards seemed to be on a revolving turnstile of injuries with no more than two members of the Stridex Injury List wrestling at a given time. Run down those names once again for yourself and you've got yourself a veritable cornucopia of injuries spanning the body from head to toe from the late '90s and onward. And thus, the Stridex Injury List was born.
Right now, WWE seems to be going through an injury renaissance with many of their top stars on extended leaves of absence. The Undertaker is out until at least a month or so before the next Wrestlemania. Triple H has been out for some time. His DX compatriot, Shawn Michaels is now going to be out with a knee injury (although on-air, his injury is a "concussion."), Booker T had knee surgery to remove a bone fragment, and Ken Kennedy is out with an arm injury.
Several other prominent roster members are working through other injuries, notably Bobby Lashley, who doesn't do his entrance with as much vigor owing to a strain in his arm. There are a few more whose names escape me, but nearly every wrestling related website shows a new headline updating the status of a recovering superstar or adding one more to the injured pile.
I'd propose a new version of the Stridex Injury List and calling it the Axe List in homage to the seemingly endless barrage of body spray commercials. Then again, it's that time of the year where WWE already has an "Axe List" of their own, jettisoning the likes of Rob Van Dam, Sabu, and several others from the roster. They could also have the "Fruitty, Fruitty, By God They're Fruitty! Skittles Injury List," but then again, that would be misleading and fans would wonder if Goldust, Rico, and Adrian Street were descending on WWE to form a new stable. (If only the fans should be so lucky!) Eh, maybe WWE should just solicit Stridex to advertise more with them again.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't the point of splitting the roster into multi-branded, televised entities to cut down on the amount of time on the road, create more of an opportunity to rotate wrestlers into the spotlight, and ensure that their bodies remained as intact as possible given the high-impact nature of their line of work?
It seems that now, more than any other period in recent wrestling history, so many top-tier wrestlers are out of commission due to injuries.
Even better, it's that time of year again. Nope, not time for summer blockbusters in theatres or the anticipation of such patriotic and summer holidays. 'Tis the season for WWE and its various brand extensions to axe enough talent to populate a small, third world country.
With both Sabu and Rob Van Dam having made their exit from the resurrected ECW, that brand is left with very few recognizable stars that people would tune in to see. No one on the brand has really been established yet, however, in their infinite wisdom, The Powers That Be are cutting and slashing the ECW roster like Jason Voorhees.
Meanwhile, Edge was shuttled from RAW over to Smackdown, suffering from a serious drought of already established main-eventers such as Undertaker, Kennedy, and Booker T. One week later, Shawn Michaels, the lone, remaining main eventer who isn't named John Cena or has been given the "monster" gimmick (i.e. Umaga and The Great Khali) is out with a long-term injury.
You could almost smell the draft coming a mile away.
On one hand, the draft is long overdue. Much like Keith Richards after a weekend bender, a fresh transfusion of blood needs to be given to all three of these WWE brands. Moreover, why is it that the writers cannot elevate those who have valiantly toiled away on the mid-card, often putting on more entertaining matches than their upper-echelon counterparts? Sure, some mid-carders may not be ready for prime time, however, the fans are tired of seeing the same few wrestlers used over and over again in the main PPV slot.
Again, initially, it seemed that the roster split was designed to give more of the talent pool their fair amount of time in the sun. By using the same few wrestlers, it's begging for an injury. While they put on tremendous matches, Undertaker, Michaels, and Booker T are older than a lot of guys on the roster. After Booker T got a long-overdue run with the belt after busting his kingly crown for main event status after lingering as a mid-carder for so long, he eventually went for knee surgery. Undertaker has a limited schedule, but Michaels on the other hand has taken an insane amount of bumps for a 42-year-old man coming back after a severe back injury and has been a RAW roster Main Event mainstay. And of course, Triple H, big as he may be, seems to be as fragile as a Lennox tea service, taking his periodic surgery sabbatical for the second or third time.
In an effort to beef out Monday nights, Bobby Lashley was brought over from ECW to make so many frequent appearances on the flagship show, I could have sworn RAW would be renamed I Love Lashley with Vincent Kennedy McMahon appearing on the Titan Tron and telling the once-and-current ECW Champion that he's got some 'splainin' to do.
If only the Powers That Be rotated their Main Eventers more, it would save so much wear and tear on these athletes. While it's tiresome seeing the same guys over and over again, that's not to discount or discredit the job that they do. However, you can put on terrific matches night after night, but if it's the same match against the same opponent with the same outcome for months on ends, fans will grow tired of it. (Don't even get me started on the John Cena backlash, pardon the pun.)
Here's hoping that the Draft will provide a solid reshuffling of the deck and encourage some new feuds to stem from it. Ideally, it would be nice to place more emphasis on bringing some mid-carders up. Even better, in terms of the RAW brand, why not restore the prestige to the Intercontinental Championship title? As it stands now, there is no chase for the belt and it's been relegated to having a status slightly above that of the Hardcore Title (a belt which was eventually fished out of a garbage can, according to one storyline). No one is really hungry for that belt and a tournament or race for the I.C. title would really help to elevate talent to another level, in addition to giving the fans something potentially intriguing to watch.
Smackdown, on the other hand, has been making good use of their mid-card. MVP is moving up through the ranks and put on consistently good programs with Chris Benoit. He's a mid-carder who has Main Event potential with a great look (although, by WWE standards, he's considered "small"), strong mike skills as a fun, humorous heel, and he's really improved his wrestling skill, no doubt from working extensively with Benoit.
Meanwhile, Benoit is rumored to be joining the RAW ranks in the draft and will hopefully be able to re-establish himself as a main eventer and hopefully, there's a retribution angle involved with the newly-minted submissions expert Cena and Benoit attempting to avenge his pre-Wrestlemania loss at Cena's hands via the STFU.
Benoit's cred with wrestling fans is huge and would be a viable contender for Cena's Championship belt. Even better, he could even be a beloved champ and give Cena some time to regroup and hopefully debut a new gimmick to take the heat off of him.
As for another partof Smackdown's mid-card, Finlay and The Boogeyman have proven to be incredibly entertaining, offering the right amount of humor and straight-up wrestling to their program Even Hornswoggle and Little Boogey can wrestle! It's an interesting feud that has given two guys that weren't thought to have a chance as fan-favorites lacking the "WWE Look" of a jacked, 6'5"-plus behemoth. I'm sure it helps that Finlay is one of the top trainers for the company, however, it's good to see proof that the "unconventional" can be very popular and "over" with the fans. It's good for everyone.
At the very least, the three-hour Monday Night RAW promises guest appearances from "Mean" Gene Okerlund and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. They've got my viewership for that alone.
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