As a die-hard wrestling fan and columnist, it's impossible not to be excited about Wrestlemania. It's like the Superbowl to football fans! It's like March Madness to college basketball enthusiasts! It's like prom night to virgins! (Under the right circumstances, all of these can be considered sporting events.)
Over the past several weeks and months, momentum has been building towards The Big Show (and I'm not talking about Paul Wight, here, either). I can't say I'm terribly thrilled with how Wrestlemania 23 has been organized so far. Traditionally, Wrestlemania is the biggest PPV of the year which simultaneously wraps up the storylines for the old year and spins out some new ones for the year ahead. As it stands now, the biggest story generated exclusively for 'Mania is the overly-hyped hair match between Vince McMahon and Donald Trump.
It would be one thing if both billionaires were really slugging it out with one another in the squared circle for honor, glory, and the privilege of keeping their hair. They're not. Instead, Mr. McMahon has elected to have RAW's Intercontinental Champion, Umaga as his representative in the match and The Donald has chosen the ECW Champion, Bobby Lashley as his man for the 'Mania match. Basically, what you have is the rich guy version of Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots.
While the premise and addition of Stone Cold Steve Austin thrown into the mix as the Special Guest Referee could make for some memorable Wrestlemania Moments, a match with no real bearing on the WWE has taken the main event spot seems like something of a waste. Additionally, it wastes the potential for a 'Mania title defense for not one, but two championship belts. Neither the Intercontinental Championship belt nor the ECW title will be defended at the PPV.
To me, that seems to devalue the importance of both belts by not having either of them on the line for the billionaire-sponsored match between Umaga and Lashley. A whole host of creative ideas could have stemmed from putting one or both of these belts on the line, giving leeway for either of these two men to make a move and/or crossover to the ECW or RAW brands.
Currently, it seems that the strict boundaries that once divided the brand extensions are easing up. It has already been determined that all PPVs in the future will feature all three brands as opposed to just showcasing one brand per monthly PPV. In recent weeks, it's been a fairly regular occurrence to see members of the Smackdown roster engaging in combat on either RAW or ECW, and vice versa. I'm wondering if this is leading towards the recombining of the brands in the very near future.
Case in point, which ties in with both the possibility of recombining and titles that aren't going to be defended at Wrestlemania… Where are the tag teams?! There is not one single, solitary (now here's an oxymoron) tag team match anywhere on the Wrestlemania card. There's the 8-Man Tag match between ECW's Old School and The New Breed, but other than that, nada.
RAW's current Tag Team Champions, Shawn Michaels and John Cena are engaged in one of the three main events of Wrestlemania, grappling it out for the bigger prize of the WWE Title. Regardless of who wins or keeps the belt, you still have some very null-and-void Tag Team Champions with HBK and Cena.
Many of the tag teams in the WWE who have been lingering in either dark matches or resigned to Heat as of late. Seemingly M.I.A. are Deuce and Domino, The Highlanders, and Cryme Tyme, who at one point, were awarded a Number One Contender spot for the Tag Team Titles. Apparently, that had disappeared into thin air. While I think Cryme Tyme may need some more work before being ready for that spot, still, it would be nice if some level of continuity were maintained.
Smackdown's current Tag Team Champions, Paul London and Brian Kendrick aren't defending their belts at 'Mania, either. Considering that there are a whole host of tag teams in the WWE, some sort of Tag Team Title defense match could have been concocted for the PPV. A veritable wet dream of a match with London and Kendrick taking on The World's Greatest Tag Team of Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin could have had great potential and no doubt would have been a Wrestlemania highlight.
Once again, if the WWE was seeking some sort of unification between the brands, this would have been a terrific opportunity to consolidate the belts. Once again, chalk it up as two more titles that don't have a spot on Wrestlemania's card.
Joining both Tag Team titles, the Intercontinental Championship, and the ECW Title in a space to the side of the Big Show is the Cruiserweight Title. Traditionally, the Cruiserweight Division has put on fast-paced, high-flying matches. Given the wrestling styles and body-types of many of the 'Mania matches' participants (Umaga vs. Lashley, Batista vs. Undertaker, Kane vs. Khali, etc.), a Cruiserweight Title match would have been a welcome addition to the program. Yet again, that title is being relegated to the back burner.
So, now that we've looked at what we don't have for Wrestlemania 23, let's take a look at what we do have:
In the main event, Donald Trump's representative Bobby Lashley will face Vince McMahon's representative, Umaga. While the match itself doesn't particularly excite me, I can easily understand what it means for Wrestlemania and the WWE, in general. Unlike any other headlining match since the days of Hulk Hogan, this Battle of the Billionaires Hair Match has garnered unparalleled media attention. Like him or not, Trump is a major pop-culture figure. While it's still up in the air if casual fans are willing to shell out $50 for the slim possibility that The Donald gets his head shaved, it's a risk I can understand McMahon would be willing to take to introduce his product to a new audience of potential fans, or at the very least, potential consumers.
It's easy to assume that hardcore wrestling fans will buy Wrestlemania regardless, even though many of us are less than thrilled with the amount of airtime given to this match. Still, Vinnie Mac is out to make some cash and who can blame him for that.
My personal prediction is that Vince will loose the match and thus, his hair. In keeping with many of the traditions and wrestling portents, it's bound to happen. From Vince shaving Eugene's head on television a few weeks ago, the Wrestling Law of Come-Uppance dictates that chances are, Mr. McMahon will be the one to have his dome chromed. Factor in Trump's hair as his trademark and the skyward push of Bobby Lashley and the safe money would indicate Trump keeping his combed over locks. Unless of course, this is all a big April Fool's Day joke. Plus, with 50 as the new 30, 60-ish Mr. McMahon may well be considered middle-aged and crazy enough to wonder what he would look like bald and just go for it. Personally, I think he could pull it off. Whereas a fresh crop for Trump would probably look better than his current 'do, Vince will probably sport a matching look to the match's Special Guest Referee, Stone Cold Steve Austin by the end of Wrestlemania 23.
I also predict Undertaker to keep his Wrestlemania streak intact and win the World Heavyweight Title. There's a good shot that this could be 'Taker's last Wrestlemania and seeing as though the World Heavyweight belt is one of the few titles he hasn't won in his historic tenure with WWE, he'll be rewarded with one last title run before retirement and bring Batista's lengthy reign to a close.
Determining a victor for the WWE Championship title isn't so easy. Judging by the crowd's reaction on the final RAW before Wrestlemania, the crowd was most certainly not behind the current champion, John Cena. WWE only has itself to blame for that. With John Cena making Chris Benoit tap like Gregory Hines the prior week, many fans were not happy with that. Right now, John Cena is in the same boat he was in going into Wrestlemania 22, in which the Chicago fans nearly booed him out of the building. And up until a few weeks ago, things were going so well.
Granted, you want your champion to be invincible, however, there is such a thing as making him too invincible. People like there heroes to have some weakness, something that makes them human and believable. To push Cena -- or any champion, for that matter -- to be completely unbeatable only rams that person and their ideal down people's throats. And fans don't take too kindly to being forcefed.
It's really hard to say who will win this match, but if I had to pick someone to win, I would say that Shawn Michaels also gets another chance to hold the strap. It may help to relieve Cena of the tremendous heat that's been thrust upon him and HBK hasn't had a good run in a long while.
I predict another title will change hands at Wrestlemania 23 with MVP beating Chris Benoit for the United States Championship belt. Benoit seems to have been kicked into J.O.B. Squad mode lately and will likely be used as a vehicle for convincingly putting over younger talent at this point. Not that MVP is undeserving of a run with the title. Benoit has held it for a very respectable amount of time and MVP could make a great heel Champion.
Also, with many of ECW's old guard rumored to be leaving soon, the New Breed emerging triumphant is a no-brainer. Similarly, Ashley will probably become the new Women's Champion, defeating Melina. It seems clear that the WWE wants to push Ashley in spite of her lack of in-ring polish. Along those same lines, Khali may very well beat Kane in their Wrestlemania outing. Taking nothing away from Khali as a person who is revered in his home village in India and is an admirable mentor figure to many of its young people, however, he could also stand some more work on his ring maneuvers. Nevertheless, WWE has created a monster figure in Khali, similar to that of Umaga. Should Umaga lose at Wrestlemania, it wouldn't make much sense to have their other new, big man lose as well. Besides, Kane is being rewarded in other ways for putting over talent, mostly with well-deserved acting roles. However, it would be nice to see a title run for Kane in the future, too, much like Undertaker.
And finally, it is too difficult for me to pick a winner of the Money In The Bank Ladder Match. Too many unknown factors will go into determining a winner for the coveted briefcase (such as Wellness Policy violation, storyline pushes, backstage politics, etc.), however, the Edge vs. Randy Orton feud seems to have been a large focal point during the qualifying rounds, so it might not be surprising to see both men left in the ring during the match's final moments. The MITB matches are always the highlight of Wrestlemania for me, so I'm just going to sit back and enjoy it for what it's worth: A great match. No doubt, it should live up to expectations.
In less than 48 hours, all of our Wrestlemania questions will be answered and we'll see how this one stacks up against the other 22 spectacles that have come before this one. And in turn, we'll see what's ahead for the WWE and its denizens in the year to come. I'm not so sure if I smell what The Rock is cooking, but I do think I smell the dissolution of the brand extensions.
Til next time!
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