Wrestling in its current state may boast the best and buffest bods the industry has ever seen, yet there is something missing. One of the chief ingredients of sports entertainment is the entertainment factor, and a major component of that is a wrestler's ability to deliver a great promo.
Sure, nearly every episode of a wrestling show jerks its curtain with a 20-minute filibuster by one or more parties in the middle of the ring. These long-winded interludes do very little except suck up time before a given wrestling program's first commercial break, or merely serve to set up a month-long prelude to a PPV match.
The promos that many of us grew up with seem to be a lost art. For what it's worth, I believe that there are three ingredients to creating a great and memorable promo:
1. A great promo gives the fans an intimate insight into a wrestler's character, however brief that glimpse may be.
2. A great promo sets the stage for a given point of a feud and where things are headed.
3. Many of the best promos have been delivered in under two minutes and certainly still under five.
In the last few weeks, I was reminded of how much many of the current superstars need to brush up on their mike skills with some of wrestling's elder statesmen showed everyone how it is still done.
This past week on RAW, Dusty Rhodes held the audience in rapt attention with every syllable, not having lost a step since his days as an active wrestler. While the Son of a Plumber didn't have a traditionally muscular physique, it was the sheer likeability of the character he conveyed through his promos that set him apart from his competition in the '70s and the '80s. The fact that the Common Man could articulate his struggles so eloquently and touch the crowd with humor and sincerity helped to make him such a superstar.
Dusty Rhodes' ability to give such memorable sound-bytes differentiated him from being just a chubby blonde guy. He created a homespun, likeable entity the fans affectionately knew as The American Dream. There was a certain degree of camp to The Dream that made him fun to watch, but it was the gifted way in which he knew exactly when to pull back and be real that balanced the wrestling persona of Rhodes so skillfully.
Having had notable feuds with arguably two of the all-time greats of delivering promos, Superstar Billy Graham and Ric Flair, it made Dusty's mike skills all the more impressive. Superstar Billy Graham was perhaps the first great anti-hero, coming off as cocky, fun, and as colorful as his tie-dyed tights. He was so interesting that you couldn't help but like him in spite of being so dastardly at times. There was still a likeability about Graham and that largely came from how comfortable he was with addressing his audience.
While Dusty seemed to borrow quite a bit from Graham in terms of delivery, what made Rhodes so much fun to watch was that he was a face. Normally, the heels got to have all the fun with their promos. Dusty changed all of that.
Last week's episode of RAW was highlighted by a terrific speech by Ric Flair. To this day, Flair proudly tells the fans that he is a "limousine ridin', jet-flyin', wheelin', dealin', kiss stealin' son of a gun!" However, as evidenced by the dynamic discourse Flair gave to Carlito on RAW, the current incarnation of the Nature Boy has maintained that persona and also incorporated a dose of the real Ric Flair, the wrestler who has worked in the industry and seen a lot of performers come and go. This slice-of-life aspect of Ric Flair's most recent promo owes much to his status as a living, working legend who is also a mentor and influence to many of the younger members of the WWE roster. There's quite a bit the wrestlers of today could learn from Ric Flair.
Throughout his storied career, Flair has given many great speeches and is considered by many wrestling fans to be the total package. He not only was, but still is flashy, possessed of a tremendous work ethic that consistently makes for great matches, all while conveying a definitive sense of his character in his promos.
Back in the day, Ric Flair exemplified a great, stylish, party boy of a heel who exuded an air of suave cockiness. He was the mouthpiece of the Four Horsemen, yet was able successfully work on his own without the benefit of a stable behind him. Flair amassed considerable success long after the Horsemen had disbanded. He had a great look, was built, and could wrestle. On top of all that, the man could talk.
Rounding out the trifecta of legends with an innate ability to work the mike is "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. "Hot Rod" was the rare performer who could play the face and the heel and still give great promos. The man looked like he was having a great time, no matter who he was bashing, both verbally and physically. With the exception of Bobby "The Brain" Heenan as a manager and commentator, there hasn't been anyone in sports entertainment who could deliver brutally crushing and hilarious one-liners like Piper. He is the Don Rickles of the Squared Circle.
In the relatively conservative (by comparison) era of the 1980s, some of the stuff that would drop out of Piper's mouth was shocking and controversial. No one was safe. Not Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka whose Fiji Islander heritage he insulted by telling to go climb a tree, or Mr. T receiving the Al Jolson treatment from Hot Rod. The persona that Piper created was funny and fearless, regardless whether he was playing the role of fan favorite or the guy you love to hate. He was the great anti-hero of the '80s in the way that "Superstar" Billy Graham was in the '70s and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was in the '90s.
The nineties played host to a lot of guys who turned the promo into a very marketable aspect of their wrestling careers. Countless t-shirts, foam fingers and other assorted memorabilia were pushed thanks to the verbal skills of guys like Austin, D-Generation X, The Rock, and the n.W.o. The defining factor in each of these wrestlers' promo abilities was finding a personal aspect of themselves and running with it to define their wrestling persona.
Dwayne Johnson went from being the smiling "blue-chipper" who endured "Rocky sucks" chants from the audience to one of the most interesting promo artists to watch. Every word that came out of his mouth became an instant-catchphrase. It was when The Powers That Be allowed him to run with the ball and use his own material that the character of The Rock really took off.
Aside from promos becoming an outstanding way to drive characters, action, and merchandise in the '90s, ECW was a breeding ground for not only hardcore wrestling, but hardcore promos. Every show kept the sound-bytes fast and furious, set against the homemade ECW backdrop and the sounds of Dick Dale's "Miserlou" (better known as "that song from Pulp Fiction"). Out of all of the memorable promos given in that organization -- and there certainly were many -- Mick Foley stands atop the heap.
As the frantically maniacal Cactus Jack, Mick Foley earned his status as the Hardcore Legend. He could be menacing, hilarious, and surprisingly endearing in this capacity. Later on, when he moved to WWE, fans were treated to the Three Faces of Foley in which he portrayed Cactus Jack, Mankind, and Dude Love. Foley breathed life into all of these distinctly different characters, making each one of them equally entertaining and unique.
While Foley tempered his maniac creations with a certain lovability, Jake "The Snake" Roberts could scare the bejeezus out of audiences with just a single, icy glare. Roberts could easily be ranked up there as one of the greatest wrestling promo artists of all time with wrestlers such as Raven claiming him as an influence on their ring psychology and demeanor. In an industry permeated with loud voices, "The Snake" spoke slowly and quietly, a fact which made him all the more menacing.
In a slightly related school of promo style, "Macho Man" Randy Savage, The Ultimate Warrior, and Sid all employed a similar vocal approach, modulating their voices from soft to loud, but each creating their own unique characterizations. Each one came off as a total nut, but that was half the fun of watching them.
Sure, you needed the Rosetta Stone to decode a cryptic Ultimate Warrior promo, yet there was a method to his madness. The thing is, fans still remember his promos. Plus, The Warrior parlayed his wrestling career into becoming a successful motivational speaker, so he must have done something right.
The originator of "the madness" himself, "Macho Man" Randy Savage was more coherent than the Warrior in his promos, punctuating each thought with a loud "ooh, yeah." He borrowed a bit from Ric Flair and "Superstar" Billy Graham with his flashy ring ring attire, yet he developed a speaking style all his own that drew the fans to him.
On the other hand, Sid separated himself from the pack of big men with giggling, snorting, maniacal mannerisms. Sid screaming that he was "Master of the World" and bellowing at Shawn Michaels (to whom he played bodyguard to for some time) that "You! Do not give. Me! The night off!" are some of the most memorable moments of the nineties for me.
While being able to work the mike is a great way for a wrestler to connect with his or her audience and add additional impact, that's not to say a performer cannot create a great characterization without saying a word. Several "strong, silent types" have made their ring careers by maintaining an air of mystery, most notably, the Undertaker. Usually, though, these are gigantic men whose imposing physiques create that image that speaks for itself.
Sometimes, big men are enhanced and set apart by being able give voice to their in-ring personas. Kevin Nash is probably the greatest example, posing as the very big, very funny elephant in the room. Rarely did Nash reference his size in his promos. It went without saying. Nash is one of those rare types who, like The Rock, is completely comfortable with a microphone in his hand and every word that drops out of his mouth is gold. Anyone with the given genetics can be tall, but Nash relied more on personality than his height to get over so well with the fans.
More recently, Dustin Runnells seems to have not only followed in his father's footsteps as a great wrestler, but also as a noteworthy promo artist in his own right. As Goldust, his controversial, gender-bending characterization was one of the most memorable of the Attitude Era. Goldust in his original, soft-spoken incarnation was not a fluke. Later on, Runnels successfully morphed Goldie into a kooky foil for Booker T's straight man, taking their act to Tag Team Championship gold. In either case, Goldust was made so memorable by Runnels keen ear for characterization and ability to get across his points in-character so succinctly.
Chris Jericho also stands out as one of the great wrestling wordsmiths of recent times, seemingly taking up Roddy Piper's mantle as a ringside talk-show host, capable of cutting down guests with viciously gutterballing one-liners.
Being able to go the distance physically in a match counts for a lot in the wrestling ring. However, if a wrestler has the wrestling skills and credentials of a Chris Benoit or Kurt Angle, if they can't give a compelling promo, they won't get over nearly as well with the crowd as they could if they honed their verbal skills.
However, none of the current generation of superstars on television today, be it in WWE, ECW, or TNA has stepped up to the plate and shown off dynamic promo skills. There are some, notably John Cena, who have great potential to do so. However, the art of the two-minute promo, for now, seems to be a lost art. Still, it's only a matter of time before one of the youngsters steps up to the plate and becomes one of the great promo artists of this generation.
I've gone on for much longer than two minutes myself, so I'm going to wind things up. Til next time, I hope you've all been entertained.
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