Pulp Wrestling - Bridging The Gap
Posted by Jules McPherson
on 11/14/2006
(disclaimer, The following piece was originally written as part of a column writing contest on another site. I did not choose the topic for this piece. It was given to me, and this was the column that was created from the instructions inlaid therein. )
Hello everyone and welcome to a rather unique E.C.W edition of Pulp Wrestling. Now normally, I take pride in always being able to think up my own subjects, but via the confines of the competition I am now in, that was an impossibility for this column. Last time I tried this it quite frankly didn’t live up to my expectations. But with all that jibba jabba out of the way I tried my best to insert as much of myself into this column as possible. Thankfully, the subject did not involve gimmick matches, or new and innovative ways to create them. If that subject comes back this time around, I pity the poor fool who receives it. I mean, seriously, two weeks after I posted my ‘Ahoy Matey’ column in that last tournament, everyone’s favorite pirate Paul Burchill was subsequently depushed and fired! Talk about bad joo joo….
Geezus.
Given the topic of this column I sincerely hope I don’t inadvertently cause any of our beloved elder statesmen to go out ‘farm hunting’, or ‘bucket kicking’… if you catch my drift. That would really mess up my subconscious even worse than it already is. Anyway, enough introductory column banter, let's proceed with the evenings affairs shall we?
It’s strange how frequent my opinion of Raw seems to bounce back and forth. I found this week’s offering from jolly old England to be a rather light hearted romp, well worth my two hour investment. However, at the end of last week’s show I was contemplating giving up on that brand altogether. What a difference a week makes. Although to be apropos, I don’t suppose the rise in quality this week had anything to do with a new direction rather than just the surge of a new environment combined with the fact that the lame DX gags that bombed last week were somewhat decent enough to make me chuckle this week. Who knows what will become of this brand in the months to come? We’ve already had three title changes within one week though. (Tag titles twice and the IC title once) And to think they say Russo is only working for TNA these days (Note to all morons, that was a joke, please don’t send me letters correcting my ‘mistake’.)
Speaking of that dumbf***, the latest word on TNA is that they are staging a mini-recreation of the original DX ‘Invasion’ angle featuring BG and Kip James standing outside of Titan Towers. I think it would be hilarious if someone were caught on film mistaking them for homeless riff raff and offering them spare change. For the love all things holy, please let this happen!
Moving on to the third and final brand of today’s column, coming up soon in the ECW (Not that ECW..) universe is an Extreme (weapons filled) Elimination Chamber. Looking at the group of men placed inside this structure I’ve got to say I’m really looking forward to it. The thought of RVD and Sabu going old school inside that demonic creation makes my bones tingle. The current rumor is that RVD won’t get the title due to his past mistakes. I’m fine with that. Out of the current group of men in the Chamber I can’t say there’s one that couldn’t have an effective title reign. Yes, even Test. (Stop with the tomatoes already!)… Alright, before I alienate any more readers, I think it’s time to wrap this up and get down to business while there is a still business to get down to. Ya follow?
Bridging The GapBetween all generations born into this world exists a gap; a gap between the young and the old. The grizzled veterans and the fiery young babyfaces. Currently speaking the WWE roster has never been so young at any other point in years, likewise I also can’t remember a time when it’s also been this old either. You now have competing on Monday Night’s men and women barely old enough to buy a beer, right along side grizzled vets who’re just about at that age when it’s time to start collecting social security checks. If you look back over the years you’ll find this is a fairly modern phenomenon. I remember growing up as a fan of the WWE in the early 90’s that most of the roster looked to be in their late twenties at least and early forties at best. It was a good system really. Everyone on the roster was old enough to be at least somewhat seasoned, yet also young enough to move without the aid of crutches. Still, even then you had the argument of which sect was more deserving of the spotlight.
It’s an argument that has been going on since biblical times and still rages on today. The main theme seems to center around a simple question of leadership. Who should be in charge? Who is the stronger of the two entities? One side could argue that their wisdom, experience, proven dependability and overall knowledge gained from years upon years of carving out a niche for themselves in this big ol’ globe that we all sit on makes them the primary and overall wisest choice for leadership. The other side could argue stamina, desire, and the fact that whether the other side likes it or not, they are ‘the future’ of this world come hell or high water. So you might as well hand over the reigns now. So which side is right? Should the old lions make way for the fiery young ones, or should the little snots simply sit and wait their turn like everyone else? Let’s explore this concept a little deeper.
Like it or not, we live in a youth centered culture. The popular phrase a few generations ago was ‘don’t trust anyone over thirty’, however judging by current standards soon enough it will be more like ‘don’t trust anyone over 25’. Television and mainstream media are heavily marketed to the young. Whatever the thirteen to twenty five age demographic watches on television or listens to in their CD players is primarily what is considered cool/trendy for the nation and the world. We live in a world where socially speaking, the opinions of the young are given far more value than that of the old. Commercials are filled with young attractive looking people doing things that only young attractive looking people are allowed to do. There’s a reason why your smelly cousin Lenny is never in any of those ‘Tag’ body spray ads. Like I said, when it comes to entertainment in this world right now, the young make the rules.
Your mom and dad may still be rocking out to Elvis Costello, and there’s probably still as big a following of people as ever who love his music among his original (now middle aged) fans, but the fact is, MTV doesn’t give two shits about Elvis Costello (Until he dies at which point he becomes an instant legend/icon to them by default..) or any other musical artist that doesn’t connect with today’s generation. Which is a shame, since even though I’m a fairly young guy myself, I whole heartedly enjoy his music and the music made by many other great artists from bygone eras and likewise find the fact that they are being ignored for the most part now by the same society they created such beautiful music for to be nothing short of appalling. All that plus the shit MTV plays on the air these days doesn’t even begin to be worthy enough to in any way be described as music.
That is neither here nor there though, so my musical opinions aside, let’s continue this exploration of young vs. old. Why is it that our media centered culture values youth so much more than aged people? One reason is that when you are young, your mind is still in an ever developing stage. You’re seeking out as much information as you can, and media outlets know that if they can hook you before someone or something else does during this crucial stage of your development that they’ll have you as their virtual slaves the rest of your days on this earth.
If there is one thing the youth have going against them it is this; they are gullible. It’s not a matter of today’s youth; it’s just a simple matter of human development. The younger you are, the more naive you are apt to be and thus more easily influenced by whatever trend that happens to be blowing in the wind. Your opinions are not concrete about anything since you have not had time to develop them strongly enough. Frankly, about the only thing you have going for you is the fact that you are young. Perhaps in this the age old saying of ‘Youth (along with loads and loads of semen) is wasted on the young’ is completely appropriate.
Let’s not spend all of our time lambasting the young though, as they are for sure not the only ones who have issues in need of resolving. One of the major drawbacks of older people sometimes is the direct opposite of what I just said about young people. Their opinions are sometimes too concrete and unchangeable for their own good. The reason this debate is such an important one is because, unless the youth challenge the ideas and sometimes even the ideals (Like slavery or equal rights for everyone) of the older generations then change would simply never take place and we would be in the same place morally, and technologically speaking that we were in thousands of years ago.
On top of this, sometimes old people suffer from the affliction of just being too complacent. The young are full of energy and fire that they are eager to put to use for.. Well, anything really. (Not counting the ones who sit on their couch smoking weed all day, but then again, you old codgers had your hippies amongst you too so you have no room to speak there either.).
The older generation can also be very harmful sometimes when they refuse to acknowledge when it is time for them to step down. Let’s face facts, no one ever wants to admit that they are obsolete, or that their functionality here has come to an end. But the sad fact is that there will come a day when we all will just be another clump of skin and bones unable to achieve an erection without the use of Viagra, and even then, the only action we’ll be seeing (unless we’re Hugh Hefner) will be coming from the vicinity of our left or right hands. It doesn’t come all at once, but do to natural entropy (all systems continually breaking down) we are all destined to lose our basic functionality. Your eyes are going to stop working, as are your arms, legs, back and virtually every voluntary or involuntary function in your body. Better enjoy them while they last folks.
But malfunctioning body parts aside, let’s get back to wrestling for a second.
In wrestling, like it or not, innovation is essential. The old guard that exists now was once a part of the new guard themselves, and they brought with them some very revolutionary, and some would probably say heretical ideas about the way professional wrestling could and should be presented. New matches were developed, new moves invented, and the old way of doing things was made obsolete via the global television market. Innovation created excitement and in the end it is excitement (not controversy) that creates cash.
Looking at the current crop of twenty-something’s flying around the independent scene, the innovation that is occurring is nothing short of breath taking on some levels. There will come a day (not too far off hopefully) when the age old stereotype of all wrestlers being fat disgusting freaks in spandex could be replaced with a more respected and noble position in society. We live in a culture that glorifies daredevils and athletes of all sorts, and the more wrestling and wrestlers move towards establishing this trait as the norm rather than the exception the better it will be for its overall image in the long run. That’s not to say we shouldn’t respect the contributions of those who came before, or that we should completely abolish the old way of doing things. There is room enough for everyone in this weird assed world of pro-wrestling we reside in, and after all, while I support innovation, I can’t say the risks associated with many of the moves used by current performers will be worth the money after they have to spend the rest of their years in a wheelchair. Remember, those old farts you see wrestling on your TV got that way by not injuring themselves seriously (in a permanently debilitating way) during the course of their careers.
Now from what I’ve seen and heard these past few years, one of the most commonly complained about aspects of wrestling by fans these days and of days gone by revolves around the illusion that wrestling promotions do not do enough to promote the young and talented in light of the established older stars of the business (Who they feel get all the air time). Now before we go any farther let’s take a minute to differentiate between young and fresh. My main disagreement with wrestling most times is not that they don’t employ enough people from my age bracket; it’s just that they don’t often shake up their rosters enough to put in some new faces to make things interesting. For those of you tied to the idea that in order to be a fresh face in wrestling you must be young as well, allow me to present you with options A and B. Option A, is The Animal, ‘Dave Batista’ and Option B, was formerly known as Bradshaw, but is now much more famous for his initials; JBL.
Neither of these men were what most people would consider young in any way, yet both of them rose to prominence at roughly the same time and both offered desperately needed new blood to their respective heavyweight title divisions. Neither one of them was exactly what you would call fresh faces either in terms of being new to WWE television or being young in years respectively. With these two superstars WWE utilized the concept of self sufficiency. They could have searched the Indy scene for the newest potential star, but as the saying says, why go out for hamburgers when you can have that good microwavable beef right here at home? Neither man was young, or even remotely new to the scene, yet with a few minor alterations to their characters, permanent main eventers were created.
Furthermore, as much as I think it is important to not waste your young talent, it is equally important not to spoil them either. When you take anyone and make them an instant star (whether they’re young or old) in any business what you develop is an emotionally unstable egomaniac that will up and quit the first time someone dare puts him in his place. Many wrestlers have had this same complaint in the past and have even verbalized what went through their heads at the time. The most notable examples I can think of here are The Big Show; who admitted to being a self obsessed prick after his rush to fame and stardom in WCW and also Brock Lesnar; and we all know how that story ended by now don’t we?
People in this way can be much like wine in that it takes a good while for both to mature. So now, with all of this established what is the ideal solution to the dilemma of the young lions vs. the old lions? The answer to this is simple. There isn’t one..
There is no answer because the question itself exists in the false pretense that in order for one group to succeed the other must either vanish completely or take the back seat, which simply isn’t the case at all. Think about the town you live in, how is the population mixed up? I’m betting there’s probably a fair amount of almost every age group represented. In real sports while the young are normally given the most attention, every now and then you get a Michael Jordon or a Charles Barkley who can still shake things up whilst still pushing forty themselves. Wrestling should be the same way.
A balanced mix up of the young and the old, the quick and the slow, a micro-mirror of society in general so to speak. Doing this you not only create an environment where the most talented and deserving (two adjectives that have nothing to do with age) can show off their skills, but also you get a scene that is much more true to life (realistic) than a WCW-esqe mini nursing home, or an ROH like nursery school. (I’m gonna get hate mail for that one I know but the statement sticks if you think about it..)
There are times when having a young world champion can be just what the doctor ordered. Likewise there are times when the storyline of the aged veteran getting one last shot can create equal if not superior suspense. Neither way is better than the other in the end, as long as it builds interest in the sport and furthers the goal of
creating new fans. Overall, as long as wrestling is doing that, it will be okay, regardless of the age of its performers. That is my final say on this issue.
..........
And now, in lieu of some feedback I got from my last offering, here is the ‘grand’ return of my completely original closing section affectionately dubbed,
The Ten Commandments. Thou shalt readeth and obey (eth)..
I: John Cena the next time you are going to save a damsel in distress, thou shalt take the lead out of your shoes before doing so.
II: Thou shalt FU Grisham again too, pretty please?
III: As of today it has officially been one year since this world lost Eddie Guerrero to that great wrestling promotion up in the sky. Thou shalt surely, never ever let his memory fade away. (Note that doesn’t mean another year of Eddie related storylines either.)
IV: Jim Ross, thou shalt someday have to explain to thy creator just exactly how it is that Chris Masters has ‘modified’ the Full Nelson?
V: Thou shalt stop using the tag team titles to help sell DVD’s.
VI: This goes to any one of my readers, thou shalt review the new TNA knockouts DVD for me, to let me know if it is wankable.. ahem I mean, watchable. Okay?
VII: Thou shalt stop calling Lita a ho already. Has not enough time passed from that embarrassing little incident and now to let it be done with? Perhaps if the fans will stop singling out Lita, WWE will stop letting Matt wallow away in the SD! Cruiserweight division.
VIII: (Notice the accurate biblical numeric placement of this Commandment Cryme Tyme.) Thou shalt not f***ing steal!
IX: Lord, thou shalt forgive thy humble servant Jules, as I have indeed coveted both my neighbor’s possessions, and his wife’s ass as well.. Damn!
X: Finally, thou shalt be good to each other, always. That’s all for now folks, hope you enjoyed it and most of all thanks for reading.
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