Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of Pulp Wrestling. I am as always your host and caterer for the evening’s affairs, the ever loyal Julius. Today's column is going to be somewhat different than my last few offerings. It seems I've gotten a reputation recently as an insightful and personal columnnist. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I feel it is fine time I did something that was more in tune with my old M.O of just having fun. So with that being said, I hope you enjoy today's offering, and if not, then I'm sure you'll enjoy something else, sometime, sooner or later. Alright, enough benign introductorily banter, it is now time for some begin non-introductorily banter and the debut of a new section ( with the same idea as the old one) called…… 
You’d think in all the sports least likely to not f*** up a contest of competing hot babes, pro-wrestling would be at the forefront, and you’d be wrong. The new batch of WWE diva hopefuls has arrived and they are more flat and mannequin like than the last. Seriously, why not just hire actual strippers? In a sport mainly watched by horny young males I’m sure you wouldn’t have to dig that deep to hear a few acceptable names. The advantages of hiring actual strippers as opposed to these ‘regular women’ are numerous. For one thing none of them would ever, I repeat ever, have any objections to posing nude. Secondly they know the moves already; you don’t have to teach them how to perform in a fashion that commands attention. It’s already encoded in their stripper DNA. Finally personality wise I’m sure someone who takes off their clothes for a living and gyrates with a snake probably has a lot more interesting stories to tell than some boring corn fed swimsuit model who’s spent her entire life in air conditioned waiting rooms or being catered to by a team of lackeys. Game, set and match.
Have you had the new Burger King Quad-Stacker yet? It’s the equivalent of four cheese smothered bacon cheeseburgers all rolled into one delicious and mighty tasty burger. I am sure glad I am not in any profession that requires me to be in any semblance of ‘shape’. If you too have complete disregard for your health and well beings I strongly recommend you get your fat asses down to BK and pick yourself up a few of these tasty treats. And yes, you get a free pacemaker with every purchase.
I would like at this time to send out my sincere condolences to the legendary Orton wrestling family who just recently lost their family patriarch, Bob Orton Sr. I would also like at this time to extend a lengthy and pointed Finger Of Shame to one WWE for not having the decency to mention this event in any capacity on any of their televised programs. Shame on you heartless f***ers. There will be no such heartlessness in my column though, so with that in mind, I would now like you all to join me in a moment of silence..... *Try to shut up for at least five seconds ok?*
Love The Bomb
If ever there was one move that has been whored out extensively for the past two decades it would be the Powerbomb. Once only used by a select few as a deadly finisher this move has been turned into just another set-up move for countless hosses over the years, and I for one say enough is enough! That’s why in this column I am going to take you all on a trip through memory lane as I recall my personal top five favorite implementers of this once feared move. Now as I have said at the beginning of previous lists this list was in no way voted upon democratically, it was all thought up by me, and based on my opinions. If you should happen to disagree strongly enough, then by all means, go make your own damn list.
The key factor for inclusion here was my own personal entertainment factor. This is why Kevin Nash will not be making an appearance here. While I’m not as strong on the anti-Nash brigade as some of my other IWC colleagues, I still contend if you take away the fact that he’s seven feet tall that his Powerbomb is pretty much just a gentle drop. Although that time he dropped the Giant on his head was pretty gnarly… Enough about Nash though, let’s get into this list already. Coming in at number five with a flash is….
One of the key components to any good Powerbomb is of course, incredible arm strength. With that being considered is it any wonder our number five occupant in this list is none other than a man who has held over thirty internationally recognized arm wrestling championships? His accomplishments in the world of arm wrestling were so impressive in fact that it enabled him to receive a role in the critically un-acclaimed cult classic ‘Over the Top’ opposite Sylvester Stallone. From that cult success he then went on to begin a career in professional wrestling. He started off his career by being a serious contender in Japan, but then fate would strike and send him westward to the greener pastures of WCW. It was there that I was first exposed to the intense and menacing force that was Scott Norton. For those of you who have never seen him, imagine Jim Neidhart minus the goatee and classic maniacal laugh but with much more of an emphasis on just beating your ass.
The guy looked flat out menacing too; no nonsense whatsoever was to be found here. Sadly though, his small stature in comparison to some of the other stars of that era made him of little use to the WCW upper card at the time. So therefore he was delegated to becoming WCW’s official resident jobber destroyer. And boy was he ever up to the task too! While his stubby stature did prevent him from being taken as a serious threat to men like Kevin Nash or Goldberg, he was more than apt at handling the likes of Lash LeRoux or Prince Iaukea. It was against these men that Norton truly was in his element. I remember sometimes I used to tape WCW Saturday Night and Thunder for the sole purpose of rewinding the tape and watching Scott Norton Powerbomb random jobbers straight to hell.
For those unlucky enough to be on the receiving end of a Norton powerbomb they could at least be thankful that he wasn’t as tall as men such as Kevin Nash. For if you had combined that size with that kind of impact the results would probably be damn near fatal. After his long stint with WCW was over Norton reportedly returned to the land of the rising sun for one last hoorah. Apparently he prefers the atmosphere over there, and I can’t really blame him for that. If I can ever find some more tapes of his current work in Japan I would consider it a true treasure. For what it’s worth though, I am currently mailing some ‘custom made’ tinfoil medals Mr. Norton’s way in recognition of him being the fifth greatest Pro Wrestling Powerbomber of all time.
Our next inductee into this list comes to us ironically enough from a city made famous by of all things, a bomb. Hailing from Hiroshima, Japan is the man who revolutionized lightweight wrestling for an entire generation, and the number four entrant on this list; Jushin ‘Thunder’ Liger. Along with maybe only Rey Mysterio, no other man in sports entertainment has been as pivotal in the history of cruiserweight wrestling as Jushin Liger. When he first decided to become a wrestler in Japan though he was originally turned down for training due to his short stature, however undeterred he then went on to Mexico to learn that style of wrestling. The promoters back in Japan seeing his dedication (and also the fact that he was starving) reconsidered what they had originally thought of him and decided to train him there after all. The rest as they say, is history.
To further add to his legendary status as a pioneer for cruiserweights and ‘X Division’ style wrestlers that would come after him, Liger has been credited with the invention of several innovative maneuvers. Among them not the least of which is the ‘Shooting Star Press’ and the ‘Lyger Bomb’, the latter of which is basically just Liger’s version of a sit out Powerbomb with the difference being that the majority of the bump is taken on the neck and shoulders rather than the back. The visual sight of him doing this move is truly awe inspiring to watch. It’s amazing in the first place that anyone is able to take this maneuver without having to spend the rest of their life confined to a wheel chair. As Darren Drozdoff found out first hand from D-Lo Brown though, that is by no means an unrealistic possibility.
Several other people on this list have had the habit of naming their particular version of the Powerbomb after themselves. Be it for marketing reasons or sheer vanity, but Liger holds the distinction of being the only person whose version of the Powerbomb is still called a Lyger Bomb even when someone other than himself is implementing it. It could be Tajiri, Ultimo Dragon, any number of assorted Japanese or Mexican wrestler but the essential thing to remember is this; A Lyger Bomb is a Lyger Bomb the world around. About the only place in the world you’ll find that won’t refer to it as a Lyger Bomb would be the WWE, as I discovered when watching D-lo Brown perform his variation of the move on numerous occasions. But regardless of what Vince tries to tell you to the contrary, whether it’s done in a running mode or off the top rope it is to be called a Lyger Bomb out of respect to the man who invented and perfected it. 
Before his latest regurgitated ‘revamp’ as the ‘Deadman’ Mark Calloway was satisfied enough just being the American Badass, riding around the arena on his motorcycle and giving his opponents their own ‘Last Ride’ in the ring. The move was originally invented due to a backstage crackdown on all forms of the piledriver. And with that The Undertaker who had gotten his version of the Tombstone over as one of the most effective and legendary finishers of all time had to brainstorm for a different maneuver with which to seal the deal on those unlucky enough to be placed in the ring with him. So what did he come up with? The answer is The Last Ride. And it is without a doubt one of the sickest variations of the Powerbomb ever invented. For those who might have been wondering I’m guessing the reason it is called the last ride would be because of the way that Taker extends his arms up in the air (reminiscent of extended Harley Davidson handle bars) before he sends his foe crashing down to the mat.
If this is the move that was supposed to be a less riskier and safer alternative to the Tombstone I’d have to say that it fails on all fronts. For one thing the sheer impact of the move looks like it would be enough send someone into ‘la la land’ almost immediately. In fact if I had to choose between taking one Last Ride or one thousand Tombstones I am firmly certain that I would go with the latter option just for that reason alone. Right now the Undertaker has been rotating in between both moves from match to match, and sometimes even incorporates both of them into the same contest. This will illicit no complaints from me, simply because the Last Ride is one of the coolest looking and hardest hitting variations of the Powerbomb ever devised.
And it also goes to prove a point that sometimes the simplest of changes in moveset can help set apart a big change in character. Case in point; when Sting first started dressing in the black crow get-up he no longer howled like banshee and Stinger splashed people. Instead he would stealthily sneak up behind them and drop them with a reverse DDT, aptly called the Scorpion Death Drop. Should I ever get the gumption to do a list on the best DDT’s in wrestling history that’s a move that would surely make the list. But before I get too off track here I think it is time that we all moved on to find out who our runner up in this smashing little rundown of Powerbombing pugilists is.
Very few people in the history of my wrestling fandom have possessed the all encompassing ability to scare the absolute shit out me like Leon ‘Vader’ White has. When I was a child I would have rather been in a three way dance with Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees than have had to face off with just one Mastodon. So it is with that lasting mental trauma in mind that I introduce to you all the next to last entrant on this list, the baby bull himself, Big Van Vader. Vader was to my knowledge the first person to popularize the Powerbomb in North America. If not, he was at least the first person I ever saw deliver the move. And man could he ever deliver one effectively. Vader’s Powerbomb didn’t only just look effective though, it was effective. Don’t believe me? Just ask Joe Thurman. That’s the name of the poor young WCW Saturday Night jobber whose back was broken by a Big Van Vader Powerbomb. Another person who would make for an apt witness would be Mick Foley who was knocked silly after a Vader Powerbomb not onto the ring mat, but onto the cold unforgiving concrete floor. I bet it took a lot more than regular Excedrin to cure that headache afterwards.
In between breaking people’s backs and ripping off their ears ( Poor Mick took quite the beating from Leon over the years didn’t he?)Vader was actually a fairly decent human being most of the time. In a documentary Bret Hart once referred to him as a ‘big baby’ and reportedly after that aforementioned Thurman incident Vader could be found backstage weeping over what he had just done. Those nefarious incidents aside for a second I conclude that it would impossible, (or at least damn disrespectful) to formulate a list of the greatest Powerbomb implementers without at least giving a formal mention to the man who first popularized it in the United States. Vader’s Powerbombs were a true thing of beauty back then. Every single one of them looked cool and every single one of them looked like they could snap you in half. Vader was not just your typical power wrestler though. Not by a long shot. He possessed the speed and agility of a man half his size and he had the intensity to match it. It was all of these elements mixed with a novel and badass character, that he would go on to become one of the early drawing points of WCW.
The first time I saw Mike Awesome I was completely blown away. I had seen dozens of people give dozens of Powerbombs in my day but no one, and I mean no one ever came close to delivering anything close to an ‘Awesome Bomb’. What was so awesome about an ‘Awesome Bomb’ you ask? Well for one thing there was the sheer force of the move, and on top of that there was the ability of Awesome to perform from just about any imaginable position. Over the top rope to the floor, running into the corner, running off the apron, flying of the top rope, and my personal favorite, the flying reverse sit out ‘Awesome Bomb’ from the top rope. If ever there was a wrestler whom I could whole heartedly classify as a guilty pleasure it would be Mike Awesome. His matches technically were nothing special.
But the spectacle of them more than made up for that lack of precise psychological precision and then some. Of course one eye witness who would be more than capable of speaking to the awesomeness of an ‘Awesome Bomb’ would be none other than Masato Tanaka. These two men waged war in Japan for years before carrying their rivalry over seas to the United States, and more specifically ECW. It was in that promotion at Anarchy Rulz 1999 that I caught my first glimpse of this gruesome gladiator. On that night Mike Awesome made his extreme return as a surprise entrant into the world title main event for that night between Taz and Masato Tanaka. Apparently all one had to do to get an ECW world title shot back then was show up and heckle the champion, because no sooner had he appeared then he was already in his ring gear and involved in the match up officially per decree of Paul Heyman.
Taz was surprisingly the first eliminated here after a quick tandom of offensive flurry from Awesome and Tanaka. After that the two of them went on to have one of the most exciting title matches in ECW history. During that match there were to Powerbombs performed by Mike Awesome in particular that drew ‘Holy shit’ responses from both myself and the audience. The first was a flying Awesome Bomb over top rope through a table on the outside that upon first look, appeared to knock Tanaka out cold. The second one which ended the match and won the title for Awesome saw Tanaka Powerbombed off the top rope and through another table that literally imploded upon impact.. About two months later at ‘November To Remember’ they topped themselves yet again.
They would in fact spend the rest of 1999 trading the world title in a series of contests that each one of them set about to top the last one. After his stint in ECW though, Awesome sadly saw his career take a sudden nose dive. After a run in WCW that saw gimmicks so horrible that this columnist would not even think of mentioning them here it seemed that all his accomplishments in ECW had been for naught. After his release from WCW Mike Awesome shunned the gym for the sake of jelly donuts and became a literal parody of his former self. Every single wrong was about to be righted though as it was not a fat and slovenly Mike Awesome that showed up at ECW One Night Stand in 2005, but a transformed (meaning Mulletless) and in shape Awesome that yet again tore the house down with his long time foe Masato Tanaka. It is for that amazing series and for high marks in originally and achievements in Powerbombing that I hereby declare Mike Awesome the best single Powerbomber of all f***ing time!
And now in honor of the big man, I present you all with the following tribute video. It is indeed, awesome.
And now for the people who almost made it, but just didn't have the power/they bombed. (<--- Yes, I suck)
Before Kid Kash and Jamie Knoble stole their gimmick, the original Pitbulls made a name for themselves by Powerbombing their way through the ECW roster.
Before his career ending ankle injury, Sid could actually deliver a moderatly decent Powerbomb.
Batista has come a long way indeed from the days of his botchy ass drop.
Hey Kev, can't say I didn't at least give you a mention here now can ya?
Awesome may have won the list, but Tanaka will get the final say for this column.
Thanks for reading.
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