Last week, I took notice to the WWE’s latest offerings on RAW, and I could not help but place my words in a column for all of you to read. While RAW still has a long way to go from being the old RAW, there were hints here and there of a TV show that was improving, week-by-week. Sure, there were certain matches and segments over the past few weeks that have fell flat and stunk up a perfectly okay show. But, for the most part, I enjoyed what I saw, and I felt like RAW was becoming Must-See TV, where you needed to know what happened next week, and you couldn’t wait for it.
Then, WWE slams on the brakes, and delivers last night’s show. Now, I’m fine with a “thumbs down” show every once in a while, so I’ll forgive and forget what I saw last night, ranging from a below-average triple threat match to a Stephanie/Coach segment that featured an incredibly misplaced Mick Foley (isn’t he involved with Carlito, not Stephanie and Coach?) to the downright tastelass, drawn out surgery skit, where Vince McMahon (playing a doctor, for those with a whole lot of imagination out there) took a football, a helmet, and various other objects out of JR’s ass. Tasteless as it was, it could have been a bit funnier, but drawing it out for a good seven or eight minutes was overkill. My point being if you can possibly forget last night’s RAW (or at least forget the segments and matches that were downright bad last night), then you’ll be able to understand where I’m coming with my words of enthusiasm for an improved RAW.
So, with the move to the USA Network came a chance for the WWE to be reborn (at least on the RAW side), and it has done just that. There are plenty of people who will undoubtedly argue that there are too many periods of time where a McMahon is hogging the screen with their billion-dollar mugs in a 2005 attempt to recapture the old days where a McMahon or two on television every week was expected. However everyone else, including myself, is enjoying the new WWE… even though it’s not really a new WWE, it’s just a slightly alterred WWE. With a new slogan! The Power is Back. Isn’t that cool? I don’t know where the power went to begin with, but… it’s back!
And so, whatever side of the fence you sit on, you can’t help but agree that WWE: RAW is slowly, but surely, becoming prescription TV again. Must-See TV, if you will, with a whole lot of emphasis on the “must”. I don’t recall a time lately where I actually felt compelled to tune in the next week, and the week after, and so forth. Lately, before Homecoming, it’s been more like “Oh… Cena vs. Angle and Carlito next week. All right, I guess.” As well as “HBK takes on the Masterlock Challenge? Well, I got nothing else better to do.” It was just directed at the fans who were going to watch regardless of what boring, repetitive segments and matches that the WWE put together.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, over the past three weeks, RAW is becoming a show where you HAVE to see what happens next. Homecoming was one large display of fireworks: some moments were spectacular, and other moments were complete duds (I’m staring right at you, Cena and Bischoff). As Vince was being helped into a limo, after he and his entire family got stunned by the Texas Rattlesnake, he told an eager Todd Grisham that someone was “going to get fired over this”. Remembering HBK in the Masterlock Challenge, and Cena vs. Carlito and Bischoff’s Lackey du Jour, I couldn’t help but think this was a funny way to end the McMahon/Austin segment. I honestly thought it was a joke, and we were supposed to enjoy it as a one-time Austin/McMahon reunion. Boy, was I ever wrong on that one.
The very next week, on October 10th, the “Vince is Going to Get Revenge” story played out further, with Stephanie teasing as all at the start with a firey segment that showed just how fierce she can be, and how she stands tall and proud with the best of the McMahons. Vince strutted his Billion-Dollar Walk like no other on this planet possibly could, and he shot off a little segment that hired each and every one of us, and followed it all up with a big “You’re FIRED!” to each and every one of us. On a side note, anyone else think it would be funny to see Donald Trump and Vince McMahon fighting to trademark “You’re fired”? I know I find it hilarious.
After the smoke settled on the largest mass-firing in history, Vince called down the Three Amigos, the Three Musketeers, and on their best days, the Three Stooges: Coach, King, and good ol’ JR. Coach kissed some serious Vince McMahon ass (shouldn’t JR earn extra points for LITERALLY kissing Vince’s posterior?), King half-assed his way through an apology for the sake of not being fired for the twentieth time, and JR made the big mistake of showing his regret for Linda getting the worst Stone Cold Stunner in the entire history of Stone Cold Stunners. I’m sorry, sir, you’re going to have to empty your pockets… pull your car over to the side… and in this case, stand right next to that turnbuckle, while I re-evaluate your response with my daughter, Stephanie. A cold slap to the face later, and we get Linda’s music, which sounds like the official theme for Richard Simmons, and the whole WWE audience expects a kind, sweet Linda to save JR’s job. Well, at least that’s what the WWE was hoping for. Linda delivers the worst “You’re fired!” in history, followed by the second worst low blow in history (Bischoff’s tap to Cena’s groin a few weeks ago takes the top prize), and this all comes after she fell away from Austin’s stunner last week. Can we have Shane back, please?
All Linda bashing aside, the WWE created a storyline where the fans feel obligated to tune into Monday Night RAW the next week, to find out just what exactly is going to happen next. For the first time in a long, long time (excluding Homecoming), I simply could not wait for RAW this week. Sure, I still couldn’t care less what comes of Cena and Angle’s feud, but I hope that in the future, the WWE will apply this “Must-See TV” writing to a few more storylines, including the main title feuds. Although, I do applaude Ric Flair and Triple H, for pulling off a solid feud so far, that I think certainly gives Hogan/HBK a run for its money (which was solid solely thanks to HBK).
The WWE did something that we haven’t seen in a while this week: it teased someone big making an appearance on the show, and delivered. Stone Cold Steve Austin was advertised all day Monday on WWE.com as being rumored to be on his way to the arena, and at around 10:30pm, he showed up in a big way, and had one helluva great segment with Stephanie McMahon. His reason for the appearance? To save JR’s job. Little did he know that he would end up to a match that could inevitably result in JR’s permanent firing, as well as his own. You just have to know the McMahons are going to scheme against Austin in his match against The Coach.
There are many WWE fans who continue to bash the McMahons for showing up every week, even though they aren’t a part of the main show, and shouldn’t be a part of the main show. In my eyes, the last few months have been a bit of a slump for RAW. I started blaming it on Triple H’s absence (scary, isn’t it?), however it seems there just wasn’t a diversion from the normal formula lately, and I think the WWE needed it. Normally you would have a mix of matches, segments boosting the new talent, Bischoff screwing around with Cena, and that would continuously run in a circle for three months. Finally, we’re getting compelling television, and I really don’t care that it comes with the McMahons. After all, this is the McMahon’s own game. We’re just invited to watch. When have the fans at a baseball game ever jumped up and tried to change the game around for their own personal pleasure? It may be two different scenarios, but I hope you understand my point.
Commenting once more on the aforementioned RAW from last night, I believe last night was a filler show, which we’ve had plenty of before the move to the USA Network, so I won’t hold it against WWE. If anything, I feel even MORE compelled to watch next week. Vince McMahon, Jonathan Coachman, and Stephanie McMahon made a mockery of Jim Ross last night, so you have got to know that next week on RAW, Stone Cold Steve Austin will want some revenge, and I hope and pray to God that he will deliver something that will totally blow us away. I don’t recall a time before Homecoming where I was excited about the following week’s RAW, but I want to see Steve Austin’s revenge. I want to see what becomes of the Raw/Smackdown invasions. I want to see if the 16-time World Champion still has it in him to put on a match of the year with The Game.
Now, if only there was some way to convince Vince McMahon that a nearly ten-minute segment about JR’s ass is really not funny at all…
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