The following stringing together of words that form sentences, which come together to create paragraph, which all come together to deliver a rant that has been growing within me for months. It actually has been bothering me since I started watching wrestling, being the little Canadian tyke that I was. See, even a 5-year old could tell the difference between fiction and non-fiction. Somehow I knew the Muppets weren’t real, and never thought otherwise. A magical fairy that granted me money for his/her apparent tooth fetish was just ridiculous. Even the Easter bunny was a tough sell. Santa was the only thing I believed in, which later was revealed to be fake. But, everyone believes in Santa, right? Now, it’s the spirit of Santa Claus I believe in, not the figure himself that delivers presents and eats foods that would be a no-no on any of the diet fads going around.
And when it came to the world of professional wrestling, while I was swept up in Hulkamania, and taken aback by the Phenom himself, the Undertaker, I never actually thought for a second that it was real at all. When I saw it on television every Saturday afternoon, I saw a television show that I loved. I adored it. Why? It was entertainment. The big reveal, that should have been when my parents gently broke the news that it was all pre-planned, was actually that it was called sports entertainment. I thought it was fake (which is the word I will never use to describe wrestling), when it actuality it wasn’t. It was sports entertainment. Yes, those matches were pre-determined, and often the entire back-and-forth action was thought out beforehand, but everything else was real. The promos that Mick Foley delivered were real (or at the very least unscripted), the action inside that ring is mostly not pre-determined and often made up on the spot, to make for some incredible, spontaneous matches. And, most of all, those injuries that professional wrestlers sustain are all real. Some range from bruises to bumps, scrapes to cuts, broken bones to, in rare, tragic cases, even death. DEATH! How real is that? Was Owen Hart’s death staged? Is he enjoying a life out of the spotlight, with new hair, a new face, and a new name? No. Owen Hart was tragically ripped away from this world. I’m sure if he could tell you, he would be near the front of the line of people to tell you that not everything in wrestling is fake.
So, it brings me much anger when anyone that goes through life half-assing everything, with all the answers to all the questions, comes up to me and tells me that I’m an idiot for watching something that’s fake. Okay, these people don’t come up to me on the streets. It’s people I know, people I talk to (well, used to talk to), and people that I thought were smart, in some small, miniscule form, at least. But, when they tell me what crap wrestling is, simply because it’s fake, I usually turn a bright red (which rises from my toes to my head) and steam shoots out of my ears. We are all entitled to our respective opinions, that is a given. If you hate wrestling for ANY other reason, that is reasonable, then I have no problem at all. But you better be prepared for a major backlash of biblical proportions if you try to tell me that wrestling sucks because it’s fake.
I know what you’re probably thinking. “But Joey, what on Earth made you suddenly lose your cool, and deliver stiff chair shots to all these people who hate wrestling, because it’s ‘fake’?”. A few things, actually. I’ve had TWO people today tell me that wrestling is complete BS. Why? Yes, you guessed it. “Cause it’s fake!”. On top of that, I’ve been finally catching up on Mick Foley’s second autobiographical book (an excellent read, if you never picked it up a few years ago), and he shares my sentiments. Although, I guess it’s more or less that I share his sentiments instead, since he sparked this. I’m a rare person. Special, if you must. I see things from both sides, and I try to understand where the other standpoint comes from. Most times I understand it. When those bash people like Triple H and JBL, I share the sentiment and understand why, and often think it myself. But, I see the good in them. I can even see the good in Heidenreich! It’s been a while since WWE had someone who could actually appeal to the kids (probably better than Eugene did for kids).
But, if these people had the attention span large enough to engage in a hearty debate (which I fully believe can only work if insulting the person or their opinion harshly is not done in any way, shape or form, except when I’m really pissed off), I could easily beat them with the most simple and logical answer to any faulty response: Don’t you watch other television shows? Okay, it’s not actually an answer, but a question. Work with me here, I’m trying to prove a point.
The top television shows in North America are CSI, Desperate Housewives, Everybody Loves Raymond, and even American Idol. One crime show, one primetime soap opera, one simple-minded sitcom, and one “reality” show. There are elements of reality used in all shows, since not everything is made up. Some shows give us “real life” situations that we can all relate to. Sitcoms like the legendary “Seinfeld” can be used as example, and to further give an example, many can relate to George Costanza in many ways. But, in the end, all of these shows (excluding so-called “reality” shows) are scripted. Actors and actresses deliver the lines, after memorizing them, lines that writers put to paper, and the cameras film it all for us to watch as simple entertainment. So, why is it that when I watch wrestling, it’s not entertainment, but actually “crap” because it’s fake? Television shows are just as fake, and yet wrestling is singled out because people see it as a fake sport? No where does anyone say it’s real, people usually will call it sports entertainment, because it’s just that! Elements of a sport that mix with entertainment to make it fun to watch!
The other major example to use (aside from movies, which I’ll just include with scripted television shows for my argument) is reality television. “Real TV”. You got Survivor, The Amazing Race, Big Brother, The Apprentice, and even American Idol. The fact that these shows are called “reality” is ludicrous and laughable. I will not talk down about these shows, because I am a frequent viewer of both Survivor and The Amazing Race, while never getting into much else of so-called reality. But, I don’t see ANY of these shows as reality shows, but rather I see them all as game shows.
Let me take you back to the late 1990s. While daytime saw entries like “The Price is Right”, and later on that night, you could watch “Wheel of Fortune” and “Jeopardy!”, the big cheeses at ABC saw the potential for a primetime game show. It would give away anywhere from $0 (can’t believe that there are people who have walked off with no money) to $1 million. It would ask 15 questions, which progressively got more difficult, while giving the contestants a better shot at winning, by giving four possible answers, as well as three “lifelines”. It would air several nights a week, featuring daytime talk show host and TV legend, Regis Philbin. It became a huge hit. “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” gave everyone something to watch almost every night of the week, and other networks followed suit. The quickest entry was FOX’s “Greed”, and the game show that gave us the most vomit-inducing catchphrase was “The Weakest Link”, brought to you by NBC. Real people came into a game with real questions, playing for real money, and hoping to help their very real, yet possibly poor, lives.
So, why didn’t they call those shows “reality” television?
Once the game show era ended faster than Randy Orton’s World Title reign in 2004, CBS made a bold move, by scheduling a new show that placed 16 people on a deserted island for close to 40 days, playing for $1 million, engaging in well-planned games, all for the chance to be named sole “Survivor”. Let’s see: we got real people playing a game with real challenges (although the reality of the situations was fairly low), playing for real money and hoping to help their very real, yet possibly poor, lives.
Where did this become “reality”, moreso than a game show?
I don’t understand the logic behind this at all, because as I see it, there are no differences between reality shows and game shows, and worse yet, most game shows are far more real than reality shows! Why is Survivor reality? What sets it apart from, say, “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”? Because we see their actions? Cameras follow them around, and we hear about their boring, miserable nights? When have you ever been flown with 15 people to an island to compete in challenges for money, while spending your nights fighting off bugs, rats and any other island life? Better still, what makes auditioning for a music show so real? Because they’re real people? Come on, you should know by now that reality shows are actually less real than game shows, and are merely hiding behind a mask and pretending to be something more sophisticated. A lot of “reality” shows are finding a tough time hiding behind such a mask, and hopefully we won’t even have to worry about 9 new “reality” shows debuting every week for much longer.
The tangent I just went off on does have a point. A portion of the people who claim wrestling is pure, 100% crap are the same people who will sit down and watch a scripted television series, or worse yet, a supposed reality series, and think there’s nothing at all hypocritical about their statement. The biggest backlash against reality shows now is that there are far too many on the air right now. But, the second biggest problem is that none of them are true reality shows. It’s just too bad we don’t hear that from those who call wrestling down, while watching Simon Cowell pulling the insult punches on some dork from New York on “American Idol”. Some people love to be hypocrites.
So, as I move forth in my life, stopping here and there to catch up on the latest antics of John Cena, Dave Batista, Triple H and Eric Bischoff on Monday Night Raw, I can’t help but think that the world is a little doomed, if we rely so heavily on “reality shows” (although far more reality shows fail every year, with only a small percentage succeeding), thinking they are all real and that a program like Raw or Smackdown is total garbage because it’s apparently a sport that is fake, when ALL of these shows are simple entertainment. Like I said, there are certain reality shows that are entertaining, but if you’re going to watch them, don’t put too much thought into the reality of it, since you’ll find very little. Just enjoy the entertaining aspects of them, like enjoying the entertainment of television shows and movies, and if you want true reality, shut off the television and do something. That’s not a demand, I’m not at all into telling other people how to run their lives. I’m just saying if everyone is so hung up in wrestling being fake, then for God’s sake, just live your own life for real situations and leave all that stuff meant for entertainment alone.
And, I won’t even get into how fake Hollywood is.
(All feedback is welcome and encouraged. Please send any thoughts on this column to
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