This is the greatest time for any wrestling fan. The time where legends are born, where champions are made, and where history is created: Wrestlemania. Last year, it all began… again. Years prior, Wrestlemania 3 was where Hulk Hogan lifted Andre the Giant up for a body slam. At Wrestlemania 4, Randy Savage completed a tournament for the World Wrestling Federation Title, after defeating Ted Dibiase, One Man Gang, Butch Reed and Greg Valentine. At Wrestlemania 5 and 6, Hulk Hogan collided with two of the biggest names in wrestling history, Randy Savage and Ultimate Warrior, respectively. A Las Vegas theme made Wrestlemania 9 a historic event, as well as not one, but TWO Heavyweight title matches. The Ladder Match was born at Wrestlemania 10. The Heartbreak Kid and Bret Hart fought to a no contest at Wrestlemania 12’s Iron Man Main Event, until a decision was made to have a real winner, where HBK got the only pinfall against The Hitman, winning his first World Heavyweight Championship.
The boxing world and the wrestling world collided, when Mike Tyson refereed the main event between Steve Austin and Shawn Michaels, where Stone Cold captured his first heavyweight championship, at Wrestlemania 14. The first of three historic Stone Cold-Rock Wrestlemania confrontations took place at Wrestlemania 15. At Wrestlemania 16, the fatal four way match was going to be Mick Foley’s last match ever, where Triple H eventually retained the Heavyweight title over Foley, Big Show, and The Rock. At both the sixteenth and the seventeeth annual Wrestlemanias, the TLC (Tables, Ladders and Chairs) matches were born, featuring The Dudleys, The Hardys, and Edge & Christian. One of the biggest dream matches came to life at Wrestlemania X-8, when The Rock and Hollywood Hulk Hogan met for the very first time in the ring. And, at Wrestlemania XX, one of the biggest Wrestlemania main events ever pitted Triple H against Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit, in a triple threat match, where Benoit won his very first World Title in WWE.
For twenty years, Wrestlemania has been making wrestling history, and while I didn’t list every Wrestlemania or every historic Wrestlemania event, you can guarantee that there is plenty that I didn’t mention. But, I don’t want to focus on the past, it’s time to focus on the future, and this year at Wrestlemania 21, you can guaran-DAMN-tee that more history will be made. Will Batista, Evolution’s Former Animal, tear into Triple H and take the World Title away from the Cerebral Assassin? Is it possible that JBL’s long title reign will end, when John Cena wins the WWE Title? Perhaps Diva Search winner Christy Hemme will win the Women’s title from Trish Stratus. Well, that is all for next time. I’ll be sure not to make predictions, but instead analyze the matches, their build-up, and the chance of the matches being hits or misses. Predictions will be made, but that will be the least important thing for me to talk about.
That will be next time on The X-Factor. This time, I am going to talk about the eight Wrestlemania 21 movie parodies/trailers that have been airing since Royal Rumble. Some were clever, some were serious, and all were surprisingly well done. Here now is a look back, at WWE’s first efforts in mini-filmmaking.
The WWE Does Hollywood
1. Eugene Gump
A Parody of…: Forrest Gump
Cast: Eugene, William Regal
Premise: Mimicking Forrest Gump’s on-going conversation on a park bench with whoever will listen, Eugene talks to a woman about Wrestlemanias past, before imitating Mike Tyson’s “punch-out” of Shawn Michaels, sockin’ the woman in the face, knocking her out cold. William Regal comes and attempts to get Eugene out of trouble by proclaiming “Run… Eugene, run!”
Review: Upon its original viewing, I thought this was a real clever advertisement for Wrestlemania, and naturally figured it would be the only one. Eventually, seven more were created, and comparing this to the rest, it is much shorter but still a good parody. Although, seeing Eugene advertise Wrestlemania seems rather pointless, since he was put out of action at New Year’s Revolution. Still, this was funny. Short, but sweet. The final grade would be a B-.
2. BraveHunter
A Parody of…: Braveheart
Cast: Triple H, Ric Flair
Premise: Triple H, atop a horse, explains the importance of Wrestlemania, while taking the time to explain his greatness, only to find the army he was preaching to was nowhere in sight. Ric Flair is the only one listening, and he’s too busy “Woo”ing a donkey. Their long road to Wrestlemania begins.
Review: Triple H does a fine job in his speech, much like he always does whenever he’s in the ring, while one of the funniest moments of all the trailers is when Ric Flair “woo”s a donkey. Definitely one of my favorites of the series. Final grade is an A-.
3. Stacy-ic Instinct
A Parody of…: Basic Instinct
Cast: Chris Jericho, Stacy Keibler, Chris Benoit, Christian, Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young
Premise: Chris, Chris and Christian interrogate Stacy Keibler, who goes on to explain the energy needed in bra and panties matches. Eventually, Moolah and Mae spoil the fun. Christian proclaims his love for Stacy.
Review: A decent effort, with the funniest moment going to Christian, and his “How about sado-masochistic activity?” line, followed by blank stares, and “Just askin’…”. Moolah and Mae kind of spoil the trailer, and not just because Mae tries to make the boys vomit, but because I’ve never really gotten a kick out of their appearances on the show. Aside from Stacy and Christian, this was just bland. A final grade of C+.
4. I-will-beat-you-to-a-bloody-pulp Fiction
A Parody of…: Pulp Fiction
Cast: Booker T, Eddie Guerrero
Premise: Booker T talks to a young man about Wrestlemania, before going into a long speech from the bible, until he hands the young man some tickets to Wrestlemania 21. All is lost in the end, when Eddie accidentally fires off his gun at the guy.
Review: Great trailer, but some damn fine acting from Booker T. No surprise that he’s pretty talented, but probably not suited for a long movie role. Guerrero’s few lines are good, and it’s an overall good trailer. Not much else to say, except B+.
5. Helped By a Few Not-So Good Men
A Parody of…: A Few Good Men
Cast: John Cena, JBL, The Coach
Premise: John Cena questions JBL on whether he ordered interference in his match against Big Show from Doug and Danny Basham.
Review: Humor is nowhere to be seen, but I’ll be damned if this wasn’t great acting from both John Cena and JBL. Wow, it blew me away. I do think a little comedy was great in the rest of the parodies, but I was fine with this being completely serious. Excellent effort, in my opinion. A-
6. Dead Man Harry
A Parody of…: Dirty Harry
Cast: The Undertaker
Premise: A man questions his luck, as Undertaker himself forgets whether he fired off five shots or six from his magnum. It must have been six, and the man escapes with his life… until he mutters “son of a bitch”, to which the Dead Man walks back with his shotgun, and shoots him.
Review: One of my favorites, in overall terms, but the only unique quality is The Undertaker. I knew he was a badass, but he knew he was that much of a badass. But, I’ll reconsider that, as it is only a mini-movie, and give it an B+. Fun trailer.
7. When Angle Met Christy
A Parody of…: When Harry Met Sally
Cast: Christy Hemme, Kurt Angle, Linda McMahon
Premise: Kurt Angle goes through his match techniques with Christy, who fakes her way through an orgasm. Linda McMahon wants what Christy’s having.
Review: Am I the only one who actually would like to see Kurt and Christy in a romantic comedy? I thought these two were hilarious. Again, not much else to say, except that I loved it. I’ll give it an A-.
8. Taxi Drivers
A Parody of…: Taxi Driver
Cast: Heidenreich, Batista, Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Shelton Benjamin, The Bashams, Big Show, Candice Michelle, Carlito, Tajiri, Orlando Jordan, Joy Giovanni, Gene Snitsky, Paul London (I think), Tazz, Chavo Guerrero, Hardcore Holly, Molly Holly, Michael Cole
Premise: Some of WWE’s wrestlers, divas, and announcers all take a crack at imitating Robert DeNiro in Taxi Driver. Batista can’t seem to get along with the director, Big Show continues to have various problems, and Candice does her “Go-Daddy” dance for the director.
Review: Bloody brilliant. I don’t think there would have been a better way to end the series of WWE Trailers than a collaborative work from various WWE talent. A total of twenty people participated. Batista and Big Show were obviously the best, as they had the most lines and the funniest parts. Who doesn’t love these two? Grade: A. Nearly flawless.
And, it wouldn’t be a series of movies without a few awards. It’s… The X-Factor Wrestlemania 21 Goes Hollywood Movie Trailer Awards, or TXFWM21GHWMT Awards, for short.
Best Male Performance: A tie between The Undertaker in his “Dirty Harry” trailer, and JBL in the “A Few Good Men” movie trailer. Both give performances that could land them movie roles in the future. Big Show and Batista are hilarious, but it’s not award-worthy… even if these awards mean nothing to anyone.
Best Female Performance: Christy Hemme wins, with Stacy Keibler as a close runner-up. The only other competition, however, is Moolah and Mae in “Basic Instinct”, as well as Candice and Molly in “Taxi Driver”, so there’s not much else to judge. Still, Stacy gives a pretty good serious performance, while Christy shows off her comedic chops (as well as her moans, fake or not).
Funniest Performance: I laughed out loud when Big Show glared at the boom mic guy, after it landed on his head. He seems to be a natural to comedy. Runner-ups would be Batista’s calm, collected interaction with the director, and Christian’s two lines in the “Basic Instinct” trailer.
Most Missed: This is for the few WWE talent that I wish had filmed a movie trailer. Where was Randy Orton? I can’t think of a good role off-hand he could have did, but I think he could have did something good. Same goes for Women’s Champion Trish Stratus.
Best Overall Trailer: Definitely the “Taxi Driver” trailer. Mainly fueled by the fact that 20 people participated, and the obvious, aforementioned Big Show and Batista.
Well, I loved the trailers. I think WWE did a real nice job as they head into a Wrestlemania Gone Hollywood. Next time on The X-Factor, I plan on looking at each and every Wrestlemania match, which means I’ll probably wait until after Raw to write it, since a match could be added, although I seriously hope not, unless it’s been brewing for a while. I also plan to do a column where I pick who should and shouldn’t be traded in the 2nd Annual Draft Lottery. Until the next time, I am Mr. X and I thank you for reading. Buh-bye!
Copyright © 2005; TheWrestlingVoice.com & Douglas Nunnally.
All Rights Reserved.
Disclaimer & Privacy Statement
| What Did You Think About WWE Backlash 2008? |
|
|