Last week, I was able to sample two separate WWE programs: Raw and Smackdown. It’s been a while since I was able to watch them, as well as comment on them. But clearly, what I saw last week was one superior show, with superior matches, superior superstars, and an overall superior product. On the flip side, on the other show, I saw tacky gimmicks, failed careers, poorly written material, and, well… let’s face it. The only saving grace was Batista. Am I going to shock you and say Smackdown was the better brand? Hell no.
What I will tell you that is a guaranteed positive for both shows was Batista. Man, he was spot on for Raw and Smackdown, and he is looking to become more than just Randy Orton or Eugene. You know, those failed attempts at the next top face in WWE. The next Steve Austin or the next Rock. Well, I think Batista just might have it. What do I know, right? I mean I thought Eugene had it. I thought Orton had it. For a while, I thought maybe Benoit was going to get it back. But now, after seeing Batista slowly build his character for the last two months, we’re seeing a brand new star in the making. Check out that colossal animal on Smackdown, and tell me he’s not on his way up, about to break the curse set by Eugene and Orton. He was amazing on Smackdown, and he was the best part of the show.
Now, before I talk more about Smackdown, let’s check in on Raw. The Raw guys were showing what they were made of on Monday night, and gave a pretty good show. A great show? Not necessarily. I may have taken my shots at Smackdown, but to be honest, both need improvement in some spots. Smackdown just needs a lot more of it. The first little bit of Raw was devoted to Jericho, Candice (Go-Daddy!), and Hassan. Now, the match itself was good, but the entire segment with Y2J, Candice and Hassan was nothing special. I’ve supported Hassan, especially when a lot of people attack him. The heel heat is great. The gimmick? Well, that may be better left disputed another time. Remember when The Highlight Reel was, well, a highlight? This was not a highlight at all, mainly due to Candice and her stupid mocking of the Go-Daddy commercial. No one knows who she is, nor if they saw WWE and saw her face would they recognize her. I myself didn’t understand the big fuss over the ad, but whatever. The opening was a waste, and only was used as a segway into their match.
I am digging this whole Raw-Smackdown angle as a whole, where a lot of the guys from both shows are interacting with each other. We saw Kane, Undertaker, Snitsky, and Heidenreich all exchanging words at Royal Rumble. There’s not a doubt in my mind that HBK could be at No Way Out to cost Angle the WWE Title Shot (like Angle cost him the match at Royal Rumble). JBL and Big Show had promos shown on Raw, JBL was rumored to be at Raw (I doubt he was anywhere near Raw, though), and Batista showed up on Smackdown this week. It was really a lot of fun. We haven’t had this two brands invading each other stuff since last year at Wrestlemania time, so it’s a welcome change. Did someone else say another Draft Lottery? I think it would be nice.
Wow… I’m just realizing what an idiot I am. Clearly, both shows have a lot of problems. What’s the next Raw problem? Orton and Stacy. What is this? Can we have one month where there isn’t some romance angle going on? Lita and Matt, Lita and Kane, Trish and Jericho, Trish and Christian, Dawn Marie/Miss Jackie and Charlie Haas, Test and Stacy, Stacy and Scott Steiner… it’s an endless list, just from the last year or two. Well, we got another one in the making, and it’s clearly not going to save that ailing career of Orton. I told this to my good friend and fellow columnist Linda a few weeks back, and I stand by it: John Cena should and probably will win the WWE Title at Wrestlemania. A draft lottery should take place, and Orton gets transferred to Smackdown. Orton turns back heel (like Booker T last year, Orton hates his new surroundings), and feuds with Cena. I love Orton as a face, but clearly it ain’t working for him on Raw now, and I don’t think they’ll push Cena back so Orton can feud with JBL.
Well, what’s wrong with Smackdown? A lot. And I mean A LOT! Okay, basically Raw and Smackdown have the same amount of pros and cons, but I’m here to examine the cons. Anyone who knows my column knows I try my best to focus on the pros of all WWE programming, and there is usally plenty of it. But the cons are starting to pile up. The first victims? Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero. No, not their in-ring work, that’s nearly flawless. It’s their opening gimmicks that I find hokey and lame. Eddie Guerrero’s low-rider cars were fun to see the first two or three times. Now, it’s just a waste of 30 seconds to see a car bounce a bit, and rise up on two tires. I find it’s more or less an attempt to capture some pop from the fans, which Eddie can do on his own. Rey’s problem is this stupid new 619 Cam. What is that? I don’t understand why Mysterio flies through the air, hops down a few steps, and waves the camera around for supposed personal viewing later on, as well as a 4-second shot on WWE TV of this 619 Camera. I think it takes away from the seriousness that wrestling ought to have for the most part.
I could talk about the divas, but let’s save that for the “wonderful” Rookie Diva Competition. Why don’t they just turn the entire PPVs into Diva competitions? That’ll sell, right? Cue the eye-roll. I think Smackdown is suffering from a lack of any major key players that run with the show. Look at Raw. Triple H, Edge, Ric Flair, and Christian are all major heel players in their own right, and Batista, Benoit, Jericho and Orton are all major babyface players. These guys (and a few more) all stand out every week as top guys on Raw. Smackdown doesn’t have that. One minute Eddie is the top babyface, the next it’s Big Show, and now it’s John Cena. Eddie is now just a tag team champion, Big Show will undoubtedly fade out now that his title feud is over, and Cena… well, Cena has got a lot of Smackdown to carry on those shoulders. JBL runs the heel division with ease, but where are the other notable heels? Kurt Angle is getting up there in wrestling age, meaning he probably doesn’t have a whole lot of time left, thanks to a neck injury. God knows Heidenreich can’t be the next top heel on Smackdown. And what else is there? Not a whole lot. I’ll give it to WWE, they built a solid Cruiserweight Division. But, if they shifted the Cruiserweights ENTIRELY to Velocity, and focused more on the big guys, I think it could benefit both shows, and make Velocity more than some Saturday night wrestling show that no one watches.
Okay, let’s focus away from Smackdown, and take a look at what was a pretty solid effort from the Smackdown guys at No Way Out. Well, half the show was pretty good. The other half was… well, let’s just say I could have seen the same crap on regular TV, not a Pay Per View. First up was a pretty good match, featuring the aforementioned Guerrero and Rey taking on The Basham Brothers. First off, The Bashams didn’t even deserve the titles at all. And now, they have a short-lived title reign, only to drop them to Rey and Eddie? Not much credibility running around WWE. But, I’m already sick of complaining. I think Eddie and Rey were great in this match, and the finish was brilliant. The fans loved it, I loved it, and it made for a great opening match. Also a solid effort was the Cruiserweight match, although I don’t know how Funaki became champion in the first place. Glad to see Chavo get the title, for a change.
Now, the downhill parts. Heidenreich vs. Booker T = filler match. Was this really started on Thursday, with their little backstage segment? If so, it was filler, and bad filler. Heidenreich is a lost puppy. He was a lost puppy even with Paul Heyman. I think the poems were a nice touch, but this angle isn’t really all that strong. Now, with the talks of a tag team match with Snitsky against Kane and Taker at Wrestlemania unofficially out of the rumor mill, I think Heidenreich is going to have a tough time finding himself a spot in Hollywood at Wrestlemania 21. Heidenreich’s buddy, The Undertaker, seems to be losing a lot of steam. It’s just the same ol’ song and dance now, and while I really thought this was going to be a great angle, I think the fact that he hasn’t really lost any match yet as a result of a pinfall is what hurts the gimmick. Sadly, it seems he may be retiring soon, which is sad news. Hopefully they find him some great feuds to have before exiting the company.
From bad to worse… we got the Smackdown Diva Search. Oh, it was a rookie diva competition? My bad. It seemed like a lame diva search, didn’t it? Complete with lame challenges, small pops for big breasts, and Stacy telling us to vote for one of the divas. It was really such a dumb way to waste time. I really would have wanted 10-15 more minutes of Heidenreich vs. Booker T than this. So, now we’re overrun with these divas, and… you know what? Forget it. I’ve said it too many times before, and I’m sick of saying it. You know the damn drill by now, right?
Kurt Angle vs. John Cena was very good. I thought HBK might have showed up to give Angle some tough times, and cost him the match. I think it would have brought out even more of that anger in Angle that would make their feud much more enjoyable. Cena is going on to Wrestlemania, with the US Title still in his possession. Will we see Cena take the title off JBL, or will ol’ Bradshaw pull out every single stop in the book to retain the title, and became one of the longest running champions in WWE history, and the longest champion in over seven years? Could be about nine by now. I know Diesel (Kevin Nash for new wrestling fans) held the title for nearly one year in 1995 or 1996, so that’s probably how far back JBL can go right now. JBL’s title reign is quite extraordinary, though.
Speaking of the former Acolyte, how about that Barbed Wire Steel Cage? I thought they pumped this up extremely well, but save for a big hole in the ring, and a shock finish, the match wasn’t all that hot. Basically, we have every form of a demonic structure: steel cage, hell in a cell, barbed wire steel cage, elimination chamber… knowing WWE, we’ll have another version of a cage in due time. Sadly, this seemed more like a Smackdown match than a PPV match. Why? Because at the end, Batista ran out for the save again on Big Show, then we had a showdown of Cena and JBL. It seemed so much like everything we’ve seen already on Smackdown, so the PPV was meaningless, in a lot of ways. We already have seen the shameful Diva Search on Raw, now we get it on a PPV, under the clever name of a Rookie Competition? We get two filler matches that CLEARLY could have been used on Smackdown as well. The only PPV-calibre matches were the tag team matches and the Number One Contender’s match. The added stipulation to a steel cage was meaningless, because they didn’t even climb over the barbed wire to win. I actually thought Big Show was DQ’ed for NOT climbing over the wire to win. But, JBL sneaking out was pretty good. He doesn’t steal matches in the way Triple H would, instead he does it in incredibly clever ways. Kudos to JBL.
Well, after seeing Raw, I got a lot to talk about. I’ve been trying hard to sort out some things to get my column back on NoDQ, but I haven’t gotten any response so far. Right now, you’ll have to live with my two current homes, and perhaps I’ll get my original home back someday soon. For now, I’m off again. I’m Mr. X saying that the NHL does indeed stand for No Hockey League. Buh-bye!
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