Hello and welcome to my Clockwork Orange House of Fun. The rules are simple to this gimmick column; it's a basic random rants topic like so many do. There are four main topics of my choosing that I will mainly discuss. At the end of the column I will try to link all four topics together (If I can.) So please enjoy and look lively.
Topic #1 -Kane/Lita: I like this little pairing, beauty and the beast of the twenty-first century. But there has been so many separate paths by both that it's seems to be a waste. You had Kane in the main event picture against Chris Benoit and you had Lita feuding with Trish; both feuds were less than perfect because of their own little story together took away from it all (Kane and Lita that is.) It comes to my attention now that Lita is now pregnant and the lovable daddy is Kane. First off pretty much every pregnancy storyline has bombed or was made into a nonsense joke (Mae Young) so I can't expect Lita actually being pregnant will carry on for nine months. This little "he's my baby's daddy" duet between will of coarse translate into Kane and Matt Hardy brutally knocking the hell out of each other for months on end, which I'm all for because it puts the Hardy boy back in the spotlight. Either way I can't give this thumbs up, but it will be enjoyable to see what goes down in the manauge de twa (French for threesome, correct?)
Topic #2 -Christian/Tomko/Stratus: Speaking of threesomes, we get to the hottest couple in the WWE right now and I'm referring to the innocent flower Trish and "Oh my back hurts, I'll take a couple of months off" Christian. We haven't seen many appearances by Christian for a long period of time, which carries away from their current status. With Jericho taking heat with Evolution and Lita doing the nasty with Kane it's hard to see whatÂ’s in store for Christian and Stratus. ThereÂ’s also the problem solver Tomko. Wise crack after wisecrack has stated that Batista and Tomko look the same. ThereÂ’s also the fact that he's got the same gimmick as Kevin Nash in the old Attitude Era. So overall I'm sure that Tomko will be out of the WWE in a matter of months. Why you say? Because obviously no time was generated into his personality and it will fail because of that same thing. Anyway's, even though I thorough enjoyed the Christian/Stratus coupling I don't believe that it will go anywhere.
Topic #3 -Torrie Wilson and...: Why isn't Torrie hooked up with someone by now. She's no help backstage with her less than perfect acting skills, she's already feuded with the likes of Dawn Marie and Sable, and simply showing up in skin clad 2-pieces is getting old fast. So why not make her a manager? Wilson got the chance a while back with Mr. Ass Billy Gunn, but for some odd reason she was not seen with Gunn anymore (I guess that with Billy not getting a push and being on Velocity week after week it didn't make much sense to pair him with someone.) I think that not only should Gunn get another push, but also Torrie should follow with him. If not then why not pair her with the other Billy...Kidman that is. It's no secret that theyÂ’re together in real life so why not have them together on camera as well? Kidman is in need of something new and an on-air relationship with Wilson could be the thing to heighten him into the Smack Down cruiserweight ranks again! Any of these suggestions seem to be good in my view and I'm sure that one will happen.
Topic #4 -Diva's Search: Why the hell does the WWE even bother with this crap? They did almost the same thing last year with some girl I don't even remember winning. We haven't seen her since, though it was said that she got a WWE contract. Did she get a secretary desk job in there Connecticut building or something? If she didn't get a chance then why will this new Diva-to-be be any different? She won't, period and end of story. They're just going to nag us constantly at RAW of updates to this Diva Search nonsense. She likely won't even be used as a wrestler. Nidia, Miss Jackie, and Linda Miles (Shanequa) all took extended periods of time to learn how to wrestle and each one of them are still mediocre. I think that the WWE should give up on American women wrestlers to this point. If they are really serious in beefing up the women's division than stock up on buff but beautiful Japanese women wrestlers who already have skills and stop wasting time training super-models (Just because it worked for Trish doesn't mean it can work for everybody else!)
Everybody should know by now that this Clockwork Orange is all about the Diva's aside from wrestling. I hope to do this special column once a month (give or take) you feel free to e-mail me with what you want me to talk about or share your personal takes on this Clockwork Orange. This concludes todayÂ’s festivities and "...And Thats What I Think!"
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