What If….?
EC mother fu**ing W. Feels good to be back. Now the question I had posed to me was “What if ___________ didn’t happen?” How would things be different. Now my first thoughts, being the pescimistic, glass half empty bastard that I am, were well what the hell? Who’s going to want to read this. No matter what, no matter how good and coherent my little “alternate universe” seems, at the end of the day it’s not going to change anything, so who cares? LAME!
I know I certainly wouldn’t want to read that. But then I thought about it, and realized I would like to read that, and I have. I’ve read stories like that numerous times and enjoyed them thoroughly.
You see, wrestling is just one of my many passions. Besides video games and rap music, I am also a die hard comic book fan. Especially the Marvel Universe. (Not really a fan of DC, their characters always seem too unbeatable for my tastes. Of course that’s another story for another time, anyone has a problem with it, see me in the Sanctuary) And of course there are the staples of said universe. You’re Spiderman’s, X-Men’s, Fantastic Four, Captain America’s, Hulks, Iron Men so on and so forth.
And while all those characters are great, the basis for the universe and illustrate all the traits that make a good comic book character, a good comic book character, these characters can sometimes be taken for face value. One thing about the Marvel Universe I love is that the more superhuman the characters tend to get, the more human they really are, with the emotions and real life issues they have to deal with. The more you read into the universe, the more complex and less cookie cutter friendly the characters get. To the point where when you really get into the crux of the ominverse, there isn’t a good and evil to really be seen. No “heels and faces” so to speak. There’s just life. Characters like Daredevil, Deadpool, Ghostrider. And characters like the one that my column revolves around. Don’t worry, this has something to do with wrestling.
One of my favorite characters is Uatu, the Watcher.
He’s far from a hero. And even farther from a villain. This big baby looking guy's only job is to watch Earth. As a watcher he’s sworn to an oath of non-interference. This is oftentimes broken in order to aid human kind (softy) but his sole job is to observe. The Watcher can see what’s going on within Earth, but can also see into the future, past, and alternate dimensions, if just one instance had happened differently. He can see just how different the Earth would be.
My first dealing with Uatu was in the Marvel comic series entitled what else, “What If . . .?” Where Uatu just used to go into detail about the alternate Earth’s he used to see. Issues like What if Spiderman was never bitten by a radioactive spider. What if Wolverine was an agent of S.H.E.I.L.D, what if Captain America, and others. I used to love them because they were you know, different. They often appeared so glamorous on the cover, but for one reason or another, that alternate universe would be worse off than the one we were in. The moral more often than not was to appreciate what it was we were living in, and try to make it better, as opposed to trying to weasel our way out of it, and look for the easy way out.
So I posed the question to myself. What if I was a Watcher? A Wrestling Watcher? BenTu. The Wrestling Watcher. Yes. I could pull that off. As BenTu the wrestling watcher well I could see just about anything. I could see a universe where Hulk Hogan had not left the AWA. A universe where Owen never took that dive off of the balcony that night in May of ’99. All these alternate realities. Alternate realities where there wasn’t an IWC. An ROH for pure wrestling fans to run to. Alternate realities, for better or worse.
But if I had it my way, as the Watcher, I think I’d go back to a time a year ago this week. When a certain wrestler was taken away from us far too soon. I’d go back to a time, when a certain wrestler was scheduled to win a certain world heavyweight championship from a certain . . . aww what the hell…. from Batista. It was a year ago Eddie Guerrero left us.
I never had wrote the obligatory Eddie tribute column, mainly because I never thought I was a good enough writer to truly express just what I was Eddie meant to me. I still don’t but this column had a deadline, and I got to make it. So here goes. As the Watcher I can always go back to a time when I was 7 years old. Being just a pawn in all that were the Monday Night Wars. Flipping back and forth between channels, TNT and USA to see who had on the best wrestling. And I can always remembering never wanting to change the channel when certain people were on. People like Kevin Nash (hey he was/is entertaining at 7 or 16), Chris Jericho, Rey Mysterio, The Rock, and others came on. And I remember fondly, one of those people being Eddie Guererro.
Now if you think the X-Division now, has a lot of workers in it’s roster, it’s still only like a half of what WCW’s Cruiserweight division was at it’s peak. So many names, from Benoit, Jericho, Juvi, Rey, Pyschosis, Lash Leroux, Ohtani, El Dandy, it got crazy. And a lot of them were just . . . ‘meh’ faces in the crowd that could pull of a nice flip there, cool little headscissors there. But none got me the way Eddie did, (except Jericho, but he’s in a class all to himself). There’s something about Eddie that I just couldn’t put my finger on, but just something in his swagger, his ring walk, his in ring demeanor, his demeaning of Chavo, his defining the meaning of Eddie’s my favorite wrestler shirts, that Eddie used to make Chavo wear. Eddie was just something special. I didn’t realize until now just what charisma was, and how far it could get a wrestler, because at 7, I was just under the impression that Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash really were the best wrestlers.
Hindsight being 20/20 I realize just how wrong I was, but man, that Eddie. I knew I would never be wrong in what it was I thought about him. He was it, he was something special.
I can remember in 1999, after watching an episode of Nitro and staying up late to see Hulk Hogan poke Kevin Nash with one finger to win the WCW Title, I recall distinctly turning the TV off and never watching a full episode of Nitro again. Not because I was aware of just how dastardly an act that must have been or because I felt some sort of moral or metaphysical disdain towards anything they just did, just more importantly, RAW was better. So like that I just effectively stopped watching Nitro. So I didn’t get to see some of my favorite wrestlers for a long time. A long time.
But then guys like Chris Jericho started making there way to the WWE. Then when the Radicalz debuted I can remember being unfoundly excited. Why that was, I wasn’t exactly sure. I mean last time I had seen Dean Malenko, Perry Saturn, Chris Benoit, and Eddie, they weren’t exactly main eventers in WCW. I had no reason to believe they would be in the WWE. I knew how technically proficient they were in the ring, but at 9 years old, I wasn’t even sure how good of a thing that was.
But the more I watched Eddie, and the rest of the Radicalz, the more I liked. His teaming with Chyna kept me entertained more than you could imagine. He just had this sort of contagious laughter and smile that was so mischievous but so chilidish you couldn’t help but love Eddie. When Eddie just took his sabbatical to battle his personal demons in 2001 – 2002, I wasn’t even aware that he had personal demons. Those little nuances didn’t really come to my attention until like mid to late 2003.
So when Eddie came back in 2002, and did his battles with RVD and Edge in the ladder matches and No Dq matches respectively it was like nothing had changed. If anything this Eddie was 10x better than the one I had seen when I was so young. And this Eddie just was 10x more likeable than the one I had seen stumbling to the ring at Wrestlemania X-7. Shoot, even though he was a heel I couldn’t boo him. Nobody could really. My dad couldn’t my cousin couldn’t, millions of fans around the world couldn’t. Just had to love Latino Heat.
As I became more submerged into, all things wrestling, I started to find more and more of the classic Eddie Matches. His stuff from AAA with Art Barr vs. El Hijo Del Santo and Octagon, to his indy battles with CM Punk way before Punk was anywhere near as good as he is now, to his 30 minute draws with Dean in ECW and to his Black Tiger II stuff vs. Wild Pegasus Chris Benoit. Now I always know Eddie brought the goods in the ring after seeing his match with Rey at Hallowen Havoc ’97, but I 5 to 6 years later being able to truly appreciate what great wrestling really is, it made Eddie even more of the man in my eyes than he was.
So by 2004, Eddie was just on fire. His feud with Chavo( like the 3rd one) was great with the inclusion of Chavo Classic. And his stuff heading into No Way Out had me really rooting for him but in no way thinking he was beating Brock Lesnar for the title. I had some weird illusions of grandeur that included a Brock vs. Goldberg WWE Title match at Wrestlemania 20. Yeah I know what was I thinking? So when Eddie won, it was so emotional not just for me obviously but for everyone. You could tell Eddie, as staged or predetermined as wrestling may be, was geniuely happy, and everyone in San Fransico was as well. I remember watching the No Way Out DVD and feeling just as excited then some 4 months afterwards as I was the day it happened. Wrestlemania 20 was great. First the Kurt Angle match which could’ve, should’ve, and would’ve been the match of the night had it not been for the incredible Triple Threat Match between Chris Benoit, Triple H, and Shawn Michaels later in the match. When Eddie and Chris celebrated at the end of the night, it was one of most favorite moments in the history of the WWE and wrestling in general.
You can imagine my disdain at the time when JBL dethroned Eddie as champion. But seeing Eddie persevere in the next year and being one of the if not the very best the WWE had to offer within the time period just made me want to see more and more of Eddie. When it was time for Eddie to turn heel against Rey in 2005, I figured, I doubt Eddie can pull it off now, seeing as he’s one of the most over faces in the company. Coupled with the ridiculousness of the Dominic-custody battle that I used to make fun of to no end, I thought the feud would be a disaster. But to Eddie and Rey’s credit, they made it work. Work enough, to the point that I actually cared about it. And it takes a lot to get me to care about a WWE feud. A lot more now, than it did back then but regardless. They accomplished their mission in my eyes. Make me forget, about heel face dynamic of anything. Just get me generally interested in what they were doing in the ring.
So by the time Eddie was put in a feud with Batista, my figurative wrestling palette was wetting at just the thought of it. I knew Eddie could drag a good match out of Dave and have a good match to boot. I liked there first title match with Eddie not exactly playing a heel or a face, playing basically a wild card, that Batista couldn’t read. I couldn’t wait for their next one, but hearing Batista got injured meant that Eddie was going to be made champion in the interm. I couldn’t have been happier. It was about time that Eddie had some more big gold I thought.
But then like everyone, on November 13, 2005, my world turned upside down when I learned of the passing of Eddie Guererro. I couldn’t believe it. It just wasn’t real to me. Eddie was far far removed from his troubles in the past with substance abuse. I just couldn’t bring myself to admit that Eddie was gone. Then I saw the tribute to Eddie on RAW! And then it hit me, just like it hit me when Owen died. Eddie was gone. My Eddie was gone. My dad’s Eddie was gone. And I did something I hadn’t done in a long time. Something I haven’t done often since. I cried. I cried for a person I had never met, but felt I knew better than anyone. I cried because I couldn’t understand why God had taken him. Why him, why now. But more importantly I cired, because well… I cried because Eddie was no longer with us. I can remember reading Eddie’s book released posthumously, and finishing within days, and closing the book and saying to myself, goodbye Eddie. My final sendoff to him. He was really gone.
It took me a long time to except that. Almost a year exactly. It took me a week to realize that like the Watcher in the Marvel Universe, sometimes, the reality we’re given just, isn’t fair. I wish as the Watcher I could go back in time and see an alternate reality, where Eddie got to fulfill his World Championship reign. I know as the Watcher I would have loved to see that. But, you know what. I’m not the Watcher. I wish I was sometimes. But I’m not. I’m Ben. Nothing more nothing less. I’d give a lot to see Eddie flash that smile one more time. Rub Chavo’s head one more time. Bang his chest, shake his shoulders, and throw his hands up. Bounce up and down in the low rider. What I wouldn’t give.
You see I can’t get into the What If’s of whether or not Eddie was here, because Eddie’s not here. Who knows what would have happened had Eddie been here. I only know how to move on, and forever remember his legacy. This is where me and the Watcher differ. His lessons, his morals about living in the reality we are given and not wanting to weasel our way outs, are case sensitve in my eyes. Nothing I can do outside of living in a dream state can bring Eddie back. If living in an alternate universe is what it took to see Eddie again, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Nothing about Eddie no longer being here seems fair to me. But begin able to accept that, and accept the fact that Eddie is in a better place now is what keeps me sane, helps me not complain, helps me maintain.
The Watcher, he can see whatever it is he wants to see. Whatever it is that makes him feel happy. I can do no such thing.
I wish I could see a world
Where a Wife still had her husband
Where an Nephew still had his uncle.
Where Shaul, Kaylie-Marie, and Sheriyln still had there father.
Where a company still had one of it’s best workers.
Where Ben still had one of his favorite wrestlers.
Where the world was still, just a tad bit more happy a place.
… But I am not the Watcher.
I miss you Eddie.
I love you.
RIP
Things to leave you with
Match you need to see :
Eddie Guerrero vs. Low Ki (Senshi)
A good match to just show how great Eddie truly was, seeing how he could what I like to call, "reign in" a young Low Ki. Still Missing you Eddie.
Song to listen to : "Lithium" by Nirvana. No real reason. It's Nirvana, listen, you shall like it.
Website to visit: No surprise here. Its the Myspace again. Yep, I'm a negro.
http://www.myspace.com/itznoturscreen_imthatblak
And yep thats about it. Enough Freebies. I realize this column was just marginally good. But realized I didn't have to do too much to squeeze out the victory. Started slow. Don't bee too harsh on the feedback, I realize I can do better, but the Eddie thing was hard.
The Biatch is Out!!!
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